Dinner on the Citadel
by Asha'man X
Summary: Shepard finally replies to Ashley's email and offers to meet for dinner on the Citadel. She accepts and they meet to work things out between them. What will happen though, considering Horizon?
1. Chapter 1

With a weary sigh, Commander Craig Shepard stepped out of his private bathroom, fresh from the hot shower he had enjoyed until a few moments ago. He felt clean and comfortable, something that had been fairly rare over the last few weeks. _If only the shower could take away some of my tiredness_ he mused as he moved over to the clothes cupboard near his bed. The cool air in the Loft was refreshing against his bare skin and quickly dried the last traces of dampness from his skin.

Looking over his fairly sparse collection of clothes, Shepard chose the formal tuxedo Kasumi had given him when they attended Donovan Hock's party for the criminal masterminds of the galaxy. With a grin, thinking of that rather _interesting _event, Shepard began to dress himself. It was a similar cut and finish to the tuxedo he normally wore, but it was all black in colour. He had dropped his normal tuxedo into the laundry chute before his shower. It seemed strange, but in a way that particular tuxedo with its gold Cerberus logos on the neck and cuffs had become his uniform, his signature. It was comfortable, stylish and very well made; something his crew on the Normandy had commented on from time to time. It was very different from the casual Alliance clothes he was used to wearing back on the Normandy SR-1, but he had come to enjoy wearing the tuxedo.

Fully dressed now, Shepard decided to confront the issue that had been nagging at his mind for the last two days. The Normandy was on the way to the Citadel, where Shepard hoped to convince the Council about the coming Reaper threat for once and all, armed with real proof this time. Besides fighting the Council, Shepard had been informed by Engineers Ken and Gabby that the Citadel would be the only place they could go to get certain highly technical repairs done to the ship. Since cutting ties with Cerberus, Shepard no longer had access to their ship repair yards or credits, which while painful, suited him perfectly. The repairs would put a serious dent in their credits, but they could easily make up that amount by doing a few odd jobs. If Shepard could get the ship adopted by the Council or the Alliance, it would matter even less, as they would finance the ship.

"EDI, please send Miranda to the Loft if she is free. I need to discuss some matters with her," Shepard called out loud.

EDI's warm but slightly disjointed voice replied "Certainly Commander. Miss Lawson has just stepped out of the shower; I shall direct her to the Loft as soon as she is done dressing."

"Thank you EDI, that will be all for now."

Shepard sat down at his terminal, idly looking over to the holographic photo of Ashley on his desk. As always when looking at her photo, Shepard felt his heart wrench a little. He missed Ashley deeply, but he didn't quite know what to do about their whole situation just yet. He had never been very good around members of the opposite sex. Ashley had been a handful since the day he had met her on Eden Prime; he had overcome his awkwardness to win her love and affection before having it all ripped away thanks to the Collectors. Without any effort, it always seemed that she could make him twist and trip over his own tongue, or sprout the most ridiculous sayings that would end with her struggling to hold her giggles back. Many people had complimented him on his excellent ability at making speeches, but for some reason when it came to Ashley, Shepard's famed skills deserted him.

As he waited, Craig flicked over the email Ashley had sent him a short while after their encounter on Horizon. He had tried half a dozen times to frame a suitable reply, but nothing ever felt right to him. No words written down could truly explain how he felt. Added to his limited free time, he had been unable to reply to her message, even before hitting the Omega-4 relay. It bothered him that he had not yet replied, as he did not want to make it seem like he was ignoring her. Even as he thought about it, another version of the reply he had been working on started to drift through his mind. Deciding to set it down for once and for all while it was still fresh in his mind; Shepard began to type, fingers picking out the keys on the haptic interface slowly and hesitantly:

"_Dearest Ashley_

_I am so sorry I haven't replied back to you before now. I know this sounds like a typical pathetic excuse, but I have been so insanely busy. Added to the fact that I can never seem to write down what I'm truly thinking and feeling and you have a recipe for a terribly delayed reply._

_I hope this message finds you doing well, wherever you are right now, doing whatever it is you may be doing right now. I am doing well, all things considered, but there are many things I've yet to truly sit down and think about, to absorb and understand. I've gone where no one has gone before, but there is a lot I truly don't understand. _

_Horizon had to be one of the worst moments in my life. Without a doubt, I acted like a fool, I felt like a fool, hell I WAS a fool. I let my frustration, anger and exhaustion get the better of me, and look at what happened as a result. I have not seen you so angry since the early days when we met on Eden Prime, and all I did was to try and convince you that Cerberus wasn't the enemy of the moment. It was a stupid thing to try and do. Even though I didn't get the chance to fully explain myself, I don't think it would have mattered. What you said was the truth. I've always appreciated the fact that you speak your mind and state the facts as is. _

_I cannot begin to tell you how relieved I was to see you safe and sound on Horizon after the Collectors left. It was the wrong moment in the wrong place, but my heart nearly stopped at seeing you again after these two years. For me it had been a few months since the Normandy SR-1 went down and everything went to hell and back. I never stopped to think that it was slightly over two years for you. My heart soared to see you, but I can't even begin to imagine what it must have been like for you to see me again. When we hugged, for those brief few moments, the entire universe felt right again._

_There is a lot more I want to say to you, but I think it needs to be done face to face. You deserve as much. I am hoping you would consider meeting me for dinner on the Presidium, where we could talk as long as you wanted. You can ask any question at all, and I will answer as best as I can. I will withhold nothing. I will be on the Citadel in two days time, I asked Joker to take it slow with the ship (long story.) If you agree to meet, meet me at the relay monument at 7pm on Friday evening. If you are busy on a mission or don't want to meet, I can understand that. Just let me know either way, that's all I ask._

_Yours always,_

_-Skipper"_

Shepard frowned at the message in front of him. The spelling was fine, and the letter conveyed all his points, yet he still felt it missed something. He was about to start editing the letter when he heard a noise outside his door. Evidently, Miranda had arrived. Craig saved the message to his drafts folder and shut the terminal off. Rising from his chair, he moved over to open the door to his cabin.

Shepard smiled as the door opened to reveal his XO, one hand raised as if to knock or use the haptic interface on the door. Miranda's face looked slightly surprised, as if not expecting the door to open on its own like that.

"Miranda, thank you for coming so quickly. Would you care to step inside? I have some matters to discuss with you," Shepard asked his XO.

"Sure Commander. You know, this makes a nice change from you visiting my office the whole time," Miranda drawled, amusement clear on her flawless face.

"After you," Shepard said, standing to one side and motioning with his arm. Miranda crossed the threshold and stepped into the captain's cabin for the first time since the ship had been built.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note: Thank you to everyone who reviewed and subscribed to the first chapter of this story. Seeing these things happen always provides encouragement for any writer to continue on. As per ihavetohaveaname's suggestion, my Shepard's background is as follows: He is a Spacer, War Hero and outright Paragon. He is an Infiltrator through and through. In ME1 he (obviously) romanced Ashley. He saved the Rachni Queen, colonists on Feros etc. Also saved the Council at the end of the game. Made Anderson the Councillor for humanity. In ME2 he stayed loyal to Ash, blew up the Collector base and told Cerberus to get lost. The entire crew is loyal and supported that decision.

Lastly, I don't own any of these characters. I simply live in the universes BioWare build, dreaming of being there. While Shepard belongs to BioWare, my Craig Shepard is my own unique Shepard.

* * *

Shepard closed the door to his cabin while Miranda looked at the area around his desk, finally settling on the collection of miniature star ships he had assembled over the last few months. Shepard paused for a moment to look at Miranda. She was dressed in a simple grey t-shirt, white shorts and simple flip-flop sandals. _It is amazing how different this simple change of clothes makes her look _he thought. Try as she might, the white or black skin tight latex outfits she usually wore always projected a slightly cold air about them. Here, dressed in these simple clothes, Miranda seemed more warm and human than ever before. A lot of people judged her to either be a cold hearted bitch, or a trollop who would sleep her way to the top. Neither of these assertions was true in the least. Miranda was one of the most complex and unique people he had ever had the pleasure of befriending, but to get that far to know her was an effort most people wouldn't bother with. Shepard had bothered, and was rewarded with a great friend and outstanding XO.

Shaking himself loose from his reverie, Shepard stepped down the three stairs to the relaxation area around his bed. With two couches and coffee table, Shepard could entertain three or four guests. Miranda followed Shepard, eyes falling on the rather odd relic currently occupying most of the coffee table. Nobody besides Liara had yet seen the thing, so it was a curiosity to one and all.

"Commander, what on earth is that silver...sphere?" Miranda asked, voice puzzled as she tried to work out what it was.

"It's a Prothean relic, which I found on the planet Kopis in the Hoplos system. Dr. Cayce's body was nearby. This relic was the focal point of all his research, but he never got to see it. After I touched it, it glowed green, sent out a burst of data and then shrank down to this size. Oh, and don't worry, it's harmless," Shepard replied, memories of the sad scene on Kopis returning to mind. The whole situation with Drs. Cayce and O'Loy had been a mess in the first degree.

"Ah, I read that mission report. I didn't know you had brought this relic with you however," Miranda replied, eyes still fixed on the ever so slightly pulsating sphere.

"I've got a soft spot for Prothean relics, considering all the things I've been through that's involved them in one way or another," Shepard replied with a small smile. "Anyway Miranda, I didn't call you up here to discuss this relic. Take a seat, make yourself comfortable," Shepard said, following his own words and sitting down on one of the couches. Miranda followed, sinking down nearby with a small sigh of pleasure. She turned to look at her Commander.

"So why did you call me up here Commander? Surely you could just have popped down into my office or sent me a mail? What's so serious that you need to speak to me here in your Loft?" Miranda asked, face set in a slightly quizzical expression.

Craig took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. What he was about to reveal to Miranda could cause a number of reactions, none of which he was sure of. He looked her in the eyes and began, trusting in his belief that the truth, while sometimes painful, was always better than a lie. "Miranda, as you know, we recently removed the old Shadow Broker from power, with Liara taking his place as the new Broker. While I was on board the ship, Liara gave me access to a number of terminals where the old Broker had been collecting information." Shepard paused for a moment, letting it sink into Miranda. _So far so good, but it's about to get worse_ he thought.

"Unfortunately, what I discovered disturbed me rather greatly. It seems that the pig had been collecting information on members of my crew, along with some high ranking Alliance personnel like Admiral Hackett, Aria on Omega and others. What really pissed me off though was that it seems he was collecting intensely personal and private information on some members of my crew. I securely deleted all the files and then double erased them. Liara assures me that there are no other copies or backups anywhere else thankfully. Miranda, unfortunately you were one of those crew members he had such private information on I'm afraid."

Miranda's face registered her surprise as the words sank in. Her mouth opened and closed several times as she tried to formulate a question, only for it to vanish in the maelstrom of her thoughts. Eventually, the most obvious question made its way out. "Just what information did he have on me Commander?"

"There were three major things I guess. One was a record of your use of the iPartner dating service, including chat logs you had with some of the possible...dates."

Miranda's face turned flaming red in embarrassment, but she did not say anything or protest. The area around her eyes tightened, as embarrassment gave way to a subtle and growing anger. Shepard continued.

"Next was an excerpt of a chat log between yourself and Oriana. I don't know if it meant anything to him, but he knew that Oriana is your sister. Perhaps he had some plans for the information at a later stage, I don't know. It just upsets me that he snooped into a private conversation."

The anger was becoming more and more visible on Miranda's face. Her whole body was tensing up, and Shepard wouldn't have been surprised if she was getting close to letting her biotics flare up. Kaidan had once told him that letting your biotics flare when you were really angry was a good way to burn off that anger. Miranda locked eyes with Shepard. "Commander, while I appreciate you telling me this, I still don't see the point. You could have told me this in my office you know. Annoying and embarrassing as this is, none of this information could truly harm me or this ship," Miranda stated.

"I know Miranda, but I thought I would do you the courtesy as your friend of telling you this face to face. I wasn't done yet. As you may recall, I said there were three major things that I encountered. The last and by far the most serious was the intercepted email from the Illium Medical Center, Prenatal Care Department. I am so sorry Miranda, I wish I knew what to say or do," Shepard said in a very small and quiet voice. He had tried to inject as much empathy as he could into his voice as he stated the last issue he had discovered, but he had no idea if he succeeded or not.

Miranda turned as pale as a sheet. Her face became ashen and drawn. She had carried this secret for some time now, but with the mission through the Omega-4 relay that everyone had called suicidal, she had not bothered to process the news. As she normally did, she had absorbed the news and moved on. Miranda tried to be strong now and suppress the emotions, but the care and kindness in Shepard's voice had cracked the walls she had put around the news. Tears, held back so long, began to fall as the first sob escaped her throat. The small part of her mind that still remained rational did not want to break down like this in front of her Commander, did not want him to see her tears again. This was her problem to deal with. He had already done so much by helping her with Oriana, she didn't want to burden him with more of her problems.

When a pair of arms surrounded her and held her close, Miranda finally let all her walls crumble. For the first time in years, all the pain, sorrow and burdens she had carried were washed away in a flood of tears and sobs. The agony of knowing that she would never be able to have children of her own, the misery of growing up under a father who only wanted a dynasty and cared little for the girl named Miranda, to the pain of being alone with no one to confide in. Through the storm of her sobbing, the arms never let her go. After what seemed an eternity, Miranda's grief crested and then ebbed.

Regaining control of her senses, Miranda started to straighten up. The arms holding her let go as Shepard's face came into focus through her still blurry eyes. His smile was full of compassion and sympathy for her pain. He reached into his pocket and offered her his handkerchief for her to dry her eyes. Such a simple gesture, yet in that moment, Miranda finally understood what she had always heard about this man. Reports from the members of his old crew stated that all of them would have followed him into Hell if he had asked them. The new crew had done something very much akin to that when they had assaulted the Collector base. They had trusted their very lives to him, and he had delivered. Her tutors in Cerberus had always impressed on her that to be cold and efficient was the only way to truly be in control and command people. People were simply assets that had to be managed properly. It had worked, but as Miranda now realised, it only made people afraid of her. Nobody had ever respected her or declared their utter loyalty to her, and now she truly understood why.

"You look a little better now. Can I get you something to drink perhaps? You can use my bathroom if you would like to wash your face," Shepard said quietly.

"Thanks, but I'll be fine. What do you have to drink though?" Miranda asked, hoping that perhaps Craig would have some strong alcohol in his small fridge to help settle her nerves.

"Juice and water is all I'm afraid. Apple, grape and orange," Shepard replied, moving over to the bar fridge, situated next to the fish tank. Craig liked his alcohol as much as the next person, but he made it a point not to have any in his cabin. Alliance discipline and regulations had never left him, despite being a SPECTRE as well being dead. Some things were just too deeply engraved to change.

Miranda pondered for a moment, and then made up her mind. "I'd like an apple juice please. That would be nice."

Shepard replied with a smile and said, "Two bottles coming right up. Apple is my favourite juice," he added as an afterthought as he retrieved two ice-cold bottles from the fridge and headed over to the couch. He handed one bottle to Miranda and sat back down again. Shepard took his first pull from the bottle and savoured the crisp clean taste of the juice. All things considered, this whole situation had gone better than he had expected. He was glad it was over and done with. Miranda would be hurt for sure, but he knew she would grow from this. Shepard closed his eyes and took another pull from the bottle.

"Commander, we never really got a chance to talk and get to know each other. I don't suppose you'd mind talking now?" Miranda asked with a hopeful tone in her voice. Things being the way they were, there might never be another good chance to talk and get to know the enigma of a man opposite her.

"Sure, I think that would be quite nice actually. It's been a long time since I simply just spoke to a friend," came Shepard's reply.


	3. Chapter 3

Commander Craig Shepard took another swig from his bottle of apple juice, using the moment to gather his thoughts. Setting the bottle down on the coffee table, he turned slightly to better face Miranda. She had moved back slightly, to the space where the two couches joined in an L shape, using the back of one couch as a back rest while she stretched out her legs in front of her. She kicked off her flip-flops and settled her feet firmly in the lap of Shepard, since he happened to be in the way of her being able to fully stretch out her legs. Shepard quirked an eyebrow at his XO. "The Hero of the Citadel has been reduced to a foot stool. Oh well, I suppose there are worse situations in life." Shepard added a small smile, to rob the words of any sting they might have. He didn't mind, but the situation just seemed to be begging for a wise crack. _This is all Ashley's fault, seems I've picked up that habit of hers now, making jokes. Let's just hope I don't descend to Joker's level any time soon_ Shepard thought with a wry inner smile.

Miranda simply smiled at Shepard and ignored the jibe. Instead, she finally started asking some of the questions that had been on her mental list for some time. "Commander," Miranda began, before Shepard cut her off.

"Miranda, we are alone. Please, call me Craig. Few enough people do. It would be nice to hear someone call me by my first name for a change," Shepard said, hoping that she would do so. Apart from his parents, Ashley had been just about the only one who had called him by his first name with any regularity. _Just one more thing I really miss about Ash _he thought.

"Alright then Craig. You know, I know just about everything there is to know about you, physically at least that is. For friends, we seem to know remarkably little about each other besides what we've shared over the course of the last few months. I guess I'm just curious to know what your favourite books are, favourite music, even what makes you as great as you are. I just don't understand you sometimes, how you are able to do the things you do," Miranda said, hoping that she wouldn't be pushing too far all at once. Shepard did indeed know a lot about her, but as she had said, it was the small things they didn't know. All things considered, it was probably not that important in the grand scheme of things, but Miranda thought it would be nice to know. Sometimes the small things turned out to be important. One never knew.

Shepard looked at the stars through the window in the ceiling of the Loft for a moment, taking the time to frame his replies. The questions were easy enough; it was the answers that were not so straight forward. "Let's see. In terms of books, I'm a massive fan of Earth authors from the early 21st century. To be more specific, I absolutely love fantasy novels. _The Wheel of Time, The Lord of the Rings, Malazan Book of the Fallen, Sword of Truth_ and more. I got addicted to fantasy during high school when I got bored of the English syllabus I was being taught. Would you believe I actually went out of my way to track these books down in real paper format? There was just something about reading them in that format that can't be beaten by data pads and OSD's," Shepard enthused; face lighting up as he spoke about one of his passions. He had not been able to read as much as would have liked over the last few years, but the passion had never waned.

"In terms of music, I don't really have a fixed taste per se. I listen to most things, though I find myself being drawn to human and asari classical music lately. Human classical music can be quite complex and lengthy, while asari classical is often shorter and more haunting, if I can use that term. Tell me Miranda, have you ever heard _The 1812 Overture_ by the Russian composer Tchaikovsky?" Shepard asked, face becoming even more animated.

Miranda shook her head slightly. "I can't say I have Craig. I've not really listened much to classical music, I find it too drawn out for my taste."

"That's a pity my friend. I was on Earth a few years back, before I was assigned to the first Normandy. I attended a military tattoo, where various acts perform drills, musical items and so forth. One of the last acts was a rendition of the Overture, complete with authentic 20th century canon fire. It was amazing to say the least. I've seldom been moved by a piece of music like that before. Since then, it's always remained stuck in my head. One day, I'd like to take you to a tattoo where they perform the Overture. I think you'd like it." As usual with the mention of the Overture, strains from the performance began to echo in Shepard's mind. He stopped himself just short of humming parts out loud or waving his arms about like an orchestral conductor. He couldn't help but smile.

Miranda smiled to see such enthusiasm from Shepard. It wasn't often that he lit up like this, and it was a rare pleasure to see. "Tell you what Craig. If we survive everything to come, I will gladly go to one of these tattoos with you. The way you describe it makes me really curious to see it. There was something else I wanted to ask you though my friend," Miranda said, starting to feel a little nervous. What she was about to ask him was pretty personal in nature. She had been wondering about the topic for some time, ever since Horizon to be precise. Miranda took a breath and continued. "When I walked in here, I noticed a picture on your desk. It is of the Alliance operative we encountered on Horizon isn't it? I believe her name is Operations Chief Ashley Williams?"

Shepard tensed after hearing Miranda's last question. _I guess this had to come up sooner or later. I don't mind answering her; the problem is more along the lines of that I am not quite sure HOW to answer. _Shepard picked up his juice bottle and finished off the last of the apple juice inside. Fiddling slightly with the now empty bottle, he finally looked Miranda in the eye again. "What would you like to know?"

"I am actually not sure Craig. I was just wondering I guess. I have been ever since we were on Horizon to be honest. She comes out of nowhere, hugs you in a way that suggests she knows you very well, and then rips you a new backside without letting you get a word in. From the mission reports I read from the SR-1, I know she was on your crew. Forgive me if this is personal, you don't have to answer." Miranda had been surprised by the change that came over Craig after her first question. She was expecting anger if anything, not this weary hurt and confusion that seemed to come over him.

Shepard sighed and began his story. "Ashley and I met on Eden Prime, after the Normandy had been sent there to retrieve a Prothean beacon. Her entire squad had been wiped out by the geth under Saren's command. She helped me finish the mission and get to the beacon. She actually accidentally activated it, but I threw her aside to protect her. That's when I was first imprinted with the Prothean message." Shepard's eyes were looking at her, but he seemed very far away, lost in memories. Miranda didn't say a thing, not wanting to break the spell that seemed to have fallen over the Loft. She had read reports about this Prothean message, but she did not understand it.

"Kaidan Alenko and she carried me back to the Normandy for medical attention. Captain Anderson pulled some strings and got her assigned to the Normandy due to her brave conduct on the planet below. We went straight to the Citadel and the Council, but our first attempt to stop Saren failed due to lack of evidence. I had to get proof of his corruption before we could convince the Council. Along the way, I obtained new crew members in Tali, Garrus and Wrex. After exposing Saren's ploys, I was made a SPECTRE and sent after him. Cue a long trip across the galaxy, with plenty of missions, hostage rescue situations and more. Oh, and Liara joining the crew of course.

Along the way, Ashley and I began to talk and get to know each other. The more I learnt, the more I liked her. She may seem like a simple soldier, but underneath, Ash is a very layered, interesting and intelligent person. I ended up taking her on most of my missions. Partly it was to keep her nearby, partly because her soldier skills complemented my infiltration skills.

We kept growing closer the further we chased Saren. At Virmire, I was put in a situation no one should be forced to endure: do you chose the woman you love or your best friend to die?" Shepard's voice became ragged on the last line, recalling the events of Virmire. Saren had masterminded the situation to perfection, with the end result that Shepard had lost his best friend. He composed himself and continued after a minute.

"After that, I felt totally lost. Ash was angry with me because she felt that I should have saved Kaidan, him being a superior officer and a biotic. I think the look on my face when I tried to explain to her why I chose her made her realise how bad that situation tore me up. When we got back to the Citadel, the Council for all intents and purposes grounded me. I almost lost all hope that time. Ash came to me while I was packing up my locker to leave the Normandy. Somehow, she motivated me to continue and stay strong. She pulled me up from the floor, but I stumbled and she fell into my arms. We were on the verge of kissing when Joker interrupted us to tell me that Captain Anderson wanted to meet with me. It was the first time either of us came out into the open about things.

Captain Anderson had a plan, a risky one at that to get us off the Citadel. Thanks to it, we were able to escape the Citadel and continue the chase after Saren. We headed off to Ilos, which was through the Mu relay. We had some time to kill while the ship travelled there. Ashley came to my cabin during that time. I asked her to bunk there that night, and she agreed. In many ways, we had held back due to Alliance regulations on relationships between officers and soldiers of lower ranks. Ilos was considered a suicidal type of mission, so we both gave in I guess before it became too late. It was the only time we were ever able to express our love fully for each other in that way," Shepard's voice trailed off softly. The memories of that night were incredibly bittersweet, knowing what was to come shortly thereafter. He continued with his story.

"I brought Ashley and Wrex with me to Ilos, and then through the mysterious Conduit back to the Citadel. If it wasn't for them, I would never have been able to defeat Saren and Sovereign. After the final battle, we spent quite a bit of time in a hospital recovering from our various injuries. We had no time to truly recover however, as we then spent a gruelling week being debriefed by the Council and Alliance. About the best Ash and I could manage was to fall asleep in each other's arms. As you may know, the Council decided to take action by sending the Normandy out to mop up geth resistance. That was another time waster, until the Collectors showed up and changed everything. The rest you know firsthand," Shepard concluded his story. Taking a deep breath and exhaling, he looked back to Miranda. Her face held traces of awe at his abbreviated story, as well as sympathy for his situation with Ashley.

"Thank you for sharing that with me Craig, I appreciate it. There is just one more thing however. Why was Horizon such a mess then? Surely Ashley would have been overjoyed to see you alive again?"

Shepard scratched his head as he pondered the question. It was a good and valid one, one he had asked himself many times. He thought he had an answer, but he would only know for sure if he spoke to Ash about it. "I think it boils down to the fact that The Illusive Man leaked the fact that not only was I back from the dead, I was now working with Cerberus. During our time together two years ago, Ash and I participated in a number of missions against Cerberus operatives, including the cell that killed Admiral Kahoku. Neither of us were fond of Cerberus due to those cowardly and other reprehensible actions. I can see why it would be a big blow for her to see me working with an enemy to what we both hated. I am also to blame, as all that came out of my mouth on Horizon seemed to be empty platitudes. There was no time to explain anything, and our arrival just after the Collectors just muddied the waters further. As you saw, the more I tried to explain to her that it was the Collectors who were the real enemies right then, the angrier she got at me," Shepard concluded with a wince. Even though Ash had written to him a short while after Horizon to apologise, the words she had said had lost little of their sting.

"So, now you know pretty much everything there is to concerning myself and Ashley. Ash did apologise for what she said to me, she wrote me an email. As a matter of fact, I just finished a draft reply to her before you came in. I'm hoping that it will help things out, to get us to meet and talk some things through when we get to the Citadel," Shepard said, thinking of the message sitting in his drafts folder.

Miranda withdrew her feet off of Shepard's lap and proceeded to stand up. "Craig, thank you for everything. You have no idea how much it means to me that you spoke to me face to face concerning the information on the Shadow Broker's ship. I also appreciate this chat we've had; I really think it's helped me to better understand you. I'm going to go back to my office now, and I think you had better sit down and send that email off to Ashley. You owe it to the both of you to try, and I hope for both of you that it starts the road to recovering what you had." Miranda placed her empty juice bottle on the table and made her way to the door. "Thanks again Shepard, you are the only true friend I have left out there. I hope we can chat like this again soon."

Shepard was a little startled by Miranda's sudden desire to be off, but he decided not to push the issue. He sensed that it was her way of giving him the gift of time to send that email off in privacy. He was touched by the gesture and happy to see the progress Miranda was making in learning how to be a friend. "Thanks for coming Miranda, and I also appreciate the chat. If you ever need anyone to talk to, about anything, you know where I am. Lastly, perhaps you should speak to Mordin about your problem. I don't know if the good doctor is capable of performing some sort of miracle, but if anyone in this galaxy can, it's him. Just an idea of course..."

Miranda was standing outside his door now. She turned back and gave him a small smile. "Thank you for your concern Shepard. Perhaps I will speak to Mordin, once I've threatened him enough so that he doesn't end up spreading the news to everyone. As you say, if anyone can do anything about it, it will be him. Good luck with your email Shepard; I hope it does the trick for you. I'll see you later on Commander." With a final smile, Miranda closed the door behind her and moved into the elevator to go back to her office two floors down. Shepard stood staring at the door for a moment before sitting back down in front of his terminal. Flicking the power back on, he was soon confronted with his drafts folder again. Scanning the email one last time, he clicked the Send button for once and for all. Now, all he could do was wait and hope for the best.


	4. Chapter 4

**4 months ago, Horizon...**

Operations Chief Ashley Madeline Williams was making her way slowly to the spaceport on Horizon. She was on foot, as there were no other means of transport available at the moment. With the colony having just been hit by the near mythical alien race called The Collectors, things would take a long time to return to any form of normality. Ashley had not even bothered to return to her small sleeping space to pack up her sparse belongings. Apart from a few t-shirts, underwear and some casual clothes, she had brought nothing of any substance with her to Horizon. Clad in her armour, Avenger rifle on her back, Ashley had everything she needed right now.

The spaceport was a fair distance away from where she had confronted Shepard, which on a good day would have taken about a fifteen minute brisk walk to get to. Today however was not a good day, and Ashley was still suffering the lingering after effects of being stung by one of the Collector Seeker drones. If it wasn't for her armour, Ashley suspected that she might have ended up on that massive ship that had dropped out of seemingly nowhere. The armour had reduced the effect of the sting, enabling her to recover faster and find better shelter. The after effects were no less miserable however. She was exhausted, angry, partially physically numb, half emotionally numb and a jumble more emotions she couldn't name. Here on Horizon, everything had gone so damned wrong.

_I wonder if gramps felt like this after he surrendered Shanxi_ Ashley wondered as she picked her way through some debris on the path. _To be faced by an overwhelming foe that was able to nullify your defences so easily is probably the most horrible thing we both had to face. The Turians with their fleets, the Collectors with their Seeker swarms. We Williams' were there, only to see it all go wrong _Ash thought with bitter gall rising in her throat. She had done everything she could after she had recovered, only to have the surviving colonists threaten and belittle her. She had saved lives, and instead they blamed her for bringing the Collectors down on them. _I don't know how gramps lived with this _she thought.

Ashley reached the spaceport, relieved to see that it had escaped the damage caused by the Collector ship taking off. Its rocket motors had scorched and burnt a massive area of ground, damaging key structures and destroying others. Horizon would survive and would undoubtedly receive aid, but life would get even more difficult for the survivors now. Ashley keyed her mic, "This is Alpha Oscar Zulu Oscar, please come in Sierra Zulu Oscar. Repeat, this is Alpha Oscar Zulu Oscar, please come in Sierra Zulu Oscar." Ashley waited for a tense moment, hoping that the shuttle had avoided all conflict. The pilot was due to be out today, doing a geographical survey hundreds of klicks away from the main colony. It was a royal waste in Ashley's opinion, having a shuttle devoted solely to herself, but it was Anderson's way of taking care of his operatives. Ashley had disliked the idea from the get go, but today she was grateful beyond words for the shuttle. It would refuel at the spaceport and then head off straight to the Citadel. It was by no means a comfortable or quick trip, but it would get her there in fairly short order.

"Roger Alpha Oscar Zulu Oscar, I copy you. I am RTB as we speak. I heard about the attack over the radio. Glad to see you are still with us ma'am," came the calm voice of Lt. Michael Scott. "ETA is 10 minutes. Over."

"Roger that Sierra Zulu Oscar. See you soon. Over and out." Ashley sat down on a nearby bench, waiting for the shuttle to arrive. Ashley tried to keep herself distracted as much as possible as she waited. If she didn't, thoughts and emotions she had been holding back would overwhelm her. There would be time to examine everything, but she was afraid to even think that far yet. Concentrating, Ashley began to form the vague outline of her report for Councillor Anderson. Ashley closed her eyes and began to focus, using her keen memory to begin stitching details together. It seemed that things had been going wrong from the day she arrived. If not technical problems with the defence system software, then it was the massive power draw unbalancing the colony's power supply. They had almost ironed out all the kinks when the Collectors had shown up, by which time it was far too late. _Shepard must have done something to get those weapons online and working correctly. Heaven only knows how, but I'm glad he did_ Ashley mused to herself. From what she had seen as she made her way to the controls, the weapons were beginning to do some real damage to that massive ship.

A gust of wind brought Ash out of her focussed state. The shuttle had arrived and was lowering itself to land on the landing pad. Lt. Scott was a fairly skilled pilot as far as she could tell, and he had the shuttle secure in a matter of moments. The UT-47 Kodiak was by no means a sleek or sexy shuttle, but it got the job done and was reliable. Scott opened the passenger compartment door before exiting the cockpit himself. He strode over to Ash, looking relieved to see her.

"Good to see you Chief. You ok?" Scott asked, voice carrying a genuine hint of concern. He didn't know Ash very well, but a Marine was a Marine, and caring for your fellow soldiers was something that was drilled into you from day one.

"I'm ok now thanks Lieutenant. Still a bit stiff and weak, but I think I'll be fine in a while. How long before we can get back to the Citadel?" Ashley asked, trying to remember how long it had taken them when she had arrived. She seemed to recall that the whole journey had taken about a day, but at the time she had been busy with a good book and had paid little attention to the passing time.

Lt. Scott squinted slightly and confirmed her speculation. "It should take about a day at normal speed, though we can make it in about twenty hours if I really push it. Up to you ma'am."

Ashley considered asking Scott to rush the trip, but then thought it over in more depth. Rushing would force Scott to monitor the shuttle at all times without chance of a break. Tired pilots became careless and made mistakes, something Ashley couldn't afford. The four hour difference didn't really mean much either way. It would give her chance to rest more and focus on her report.

"Take it normal speed Lieutenant. I don't want you tiring yourself out. Besides, I can use the extra few hours to catch a nap. If there's nothing else, I'm going to get onboard so long." Lt. Scott shook his head, indicating that there was nothing else. He snapped off a smart salute, which Ash promptly returned. She climbed into the passenger compartment of the Kodiak and stretched out. Being the only passenger gave her a lot of room and a chance to lay flat out on the seat, giving her a good chance at a nap. The thought of a nap made Ash yawn involuntarily. She was exhausted. She heard Scott finishing off the refuelling procedure outside. It was mainly an automatic procedure, he was there more to supervise than any real physical labour.

Hands in her lap, Ash tried to regain the focus she had a few moments ago before the shuttle arrived, but found she was unable to. The tiredness was taking over. Ashley briefly considered fighting against it, but then thought better of the idea. If she took a nap now, she would be fresher later to compose her report. Covering another yawn, she stretched her whole body. Soft pops greeted her, as well as the feel of aching muscles. Ashley shifted around, facing the inside of the seat. Curling up slightly, she closed her eyes and let her thoughts drift randomly. It seemed it took less than ten heartbeats before she started sinking into a deep sleep. She was barely aware of the Kodiak lifting off of the landing pad. _Either Scott is even better than I thought, or I'm really close to sleep_ was Ashley's last conscious thought before sleep claimed her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Serpent Nebula, 20 hours later...**

Waking up from the nightmare was a slow process for Ashley. Ashley rarely had nightmares, and preferred to wake up from them with a sudden start, rather than swimming up through the various levels of consciousness. Eden Prime had given her the first set of nightmares she had had since being a child, the Normandy SR-1 exploding another set, and now Horizon would echo in her mind for years to come.

Slowly sitting up from the seat on which she had curled up earlier, Ash tried to get her bearings. She shook her head, trying to clear out the fading vestiges of the nightmare. In her nightmare, Ash had been stung and paralysed as she had been less than a day ago. However, in this nightmare, the Collectors had not overlooked her as they had done on Horizon, but had instead taken her first as some sort of example. One of them had become _possessed _somehow_,_ the best term Ash could think of, and began ordering around the other Collectors in the vicinity. The creature had looked her directly in the face and its twisted mouth formed the words: _"We know that this will hurt Shepard the most. Take this one first. We will take great pleasure in ascending her in front of the defeated Shepard." _Ash could not contain the terror as the other Collectors picked her up and began preparing her for transport. Unable to do anything but blink and swallow, the tears had coursed down Ash's face faster than any river. She prayed to God to set her free, she prayed for Shepard to rescue her, prayed for anything to happen, but nothing happened. The terror grew to unimaginable heights as she was carted off to the Collector ship.

_Thank God that was only a nightmare _Ash thought as she slowly stood up. _I can't even begin to imagine the terror Lilith and the other colonists who were abducted went through. It's probably even worse than my nightmare _Ash thought as she knocked softly on the cockpit door.

"Lieutenant, how close are we to the Citadel? Also, do you have anything to eat or drink on board?" Ash asked, feeling hunger and thirst for the first time since breakfast yesterday on Horizon. Her stomach was still in knots, but the hunger was there. The basic needs of the body never stayed quiet for long, no matter the circumstances it seemed.

The door opened to reveal Lt. Scott in a semi-relaxed state at the controls. Looking at the view outside the windows, Ash realised that she must have slept through the relay trip back to the Citadel. She recognised various landmarks of the Serpent Nebula, and that they were drawing close to the giant Citadel, heart of the Galaxy.

"We're about four hours out from the Citadel Chief, give or take some time for docking," Scott replied. "As for food and water, I have good and bad news. The bad news is that there is no solid food, and I unfortunately ate my packed lunch hours ago. I tried to wake you up to share some of it, but you were totally lights out," Scott recalled, not adding that Ash's face had been twisted in a very disturbed look at the time. "The good news however is that there is a water canteen in the First Aid kit under the seat opposite to where you were sleeping. It's always refreshed before every flight. There may also be a few sweets in the kit, in case of low blood sugar. Not much, but perhaps it can help," Scott added, noting the relieved look on the Chief's face at the news. "If you'll excuse me ma'am, I've got to start paying close attention now. The closer we get to the Citadel, the higher the traffic. Not going to do us any good if I bump into some ship on the way out," Scott added with a small grin. He hoped the small joke would lift up the Chief's spirits. It seemed to work, as she smiled back at him.

"Scott, I think you would get on rather well with a pilot I used to know. You could balance him out," Ash said, thinking of some of the stunts Joker had pulled off while she had served on the Normandy. Someone needed to rein Joker in, and a calm co-pilot could do the trick she mused.

"Which pilot would that be ma'am? You never know, perhaps I know him or her. Pilots are a pretty close knit community actually," Scott said, thinking back on his days in pilot training with some of those crazy folk he had called brothers and sisters.

"Jeff Moreau, otherwise known as Joker. Former pilot of the Normandy SR-1." Ashley couldn't help but smile as she thought of good old Joker. He was arrogant and cocky, but behind that facade was a good man who took care of his friends. She had not seen Joker since the after funeral drinks get together the crew had attended after Shepard's funeral. They had gone their separate ways, and had lost contact. Last she had heard, he had quit the Alliance and had temporarily vanished. Although Ash had not seen the new Normandy, she immediately knew that there was only one man who would fly that ship. The connections to Shepard kept on coming back it seemed.

"Ah, Joker. Cocky, arrogant SOB, but he really is as good as he says he is. The Alliance really lost their best pilot when he quit," Scott mused, thinking back to the conversations he and the other pilots had had following Joker's resignation. Some thought he was doing the right thing, others felt he was being selfish. It pretty much ended up as an even split. One thing everyone agreed on however was that Joker had no equal in the Alliance. His techniques in the battle for the Citadel two years ago would be studied for years to come. Joker was far from old, but already the next generation of pilots in training looked up to him as a legend in the making.

Ashley smiled at Lt. Scott's summing up of Joker. Thanking him for the tips on the First Aid kit, Ash closed the door and opened up the kit. Sure enough, there was a medium sized canteen of water amongst the medical supplies, as well as a small packet of sweets. It seemed an odd thing to have in a First Aid kit, but it had proven its worth in its inclusion many times over the years. Ash was sorely tempted to drain the canteen in one go, but the lack of a bathroom on the shuttle held her back. Sipping slowly, she began to nibble on some of the sweets. With nothing else to do, Ash became lost in thought again. She had already framed her report for Councillor Anderson, and there was nothing else to do but wait till she reached the Citadel.

Try as she might, she could no longer avoid the obvious thoughts of Commander Craig Shepard. Ash sighed as the events of their meeting played through her mind again. After leaving the shelter she had found, she made her way to the control uplink for the GARDIAN anti ship batteries the Alliance had installed as a precaution against Cerberus attack. It seemed the most logical place to find out who had managed to get those accursed weapons working at last, as well as to find some answers about what had happened to Horizon.

As she approached the area, Ash had heard raised voices. She recognised the voice of Delan, a mechanic who had been greatly upset at her presence on the planet. Even as she was processing this, she recognised the second voice. The owner of the voice was trying to tell Delan what had really happened, but the mechanic was having none of it. There seemed to be a tiredness and resignation in that voice that wasn't there in the past, but Ash could never forget that voice. Taking a very deep breath to steady herself, Ash walked out between some crates to find Shepard talking to Delan. Ashley only had eyes for her former Commander, but thanks to her training, she noticed two people in the periphery. To her astonishment, Garrus was with Shepard, though the Turian looked somewhat injured. A stunning brunette was with Shepard as well, something Ashley immediately and irrationally worried about. The woman looked competent and dangerous, yet somehow disinterested in everything around her. Just when it seemed her eyes couldn't find anything more startling, Ash noticed the Cerberus logo on the woman's skin tight white latex outfit.

In the space of the five heartbeats it took for Ash to process all this, she had already absently scolded Delan for his treatment of Shepard. Miffed beyond endurance, Delan had stormed off to sulk or pack his bags. Ashley couldn't care less. She looked at Shepard. Shepard looked at her. The next moment, his arms were around her. It was a simple hug, but in those few moments, it seemed the universe stopped and righted itself. No time had passed since their night before Ilos. For a few priceless heart beats, all was well in the universe.

Back in the present, Ash smiled as she remembered that moment. It had seemed at that moment that all her prayers had been answered and that Shepard had been brought back to life. _If only neither of us opened our mouths _Ash thought, grimacing at the fact that after they had begun to talk, everything had gone downhill rather rapidly.

Shepard did not seem brainwashed on controlled in any fashion, yet he still defended Cerberus. His lame greeting had ignited her anger, and it had only gotten worse after that. Ashley knew deep down that she was being irrational, but for once in her life, she didn't care. Shepard may have been the wrong person in the wrong place at the wrong time, but it didn't stop Ash from pouring out the vitriol she had been feeling for the last while. Garrus had added his comments to the discussion, which had only made her more angry, as she knew that he was right. The beautiful brunette had been very passionate in defending Cerberus, which had only made Ash's blood boil even more. She didn't know how this woman was linked to Shepard, but she didn't like it at all.

_I still can't believe I walked away from him like that _Ash thought with another grimace. The heat and anger had become too much for Ash, and she knew that she was about to break down if she stayed any longer. Shepard was the same man she had fallen in love with two years ago, but she wasn't. She had wished him well rather coolly before making her way off to the spaceport. _I can't help but wonder if I should have turned back, despite everything. He looked so lost as I left, it tore my heart in two. I don't know if that look or when his voice cracked calling for Joker was worse _Ash recalled, the tears falling down her cheeks in a new cascade. She knew she had to apologise somehow, and she would do it as soon she spoke to Councillor Anderson. Things may never turn out to be the same again between them, but Ash knew that her father would have disapproved of her treatment of Shepard. He deserved better than her anger and frustration. Wiping her tears away, Ash sat back and waited with a new resolve hardening her for the events to come. Finishing off the water in the canteen, she began to think of the outlines for the email she would somehow send to Shepard to apologize.


	6. Chapter 6

**20 hours later, Citadel...**

Ashley walked out of Councillor Anderson's office on the Presidium not knowing what to feel besides sheer exhaustion. The revelations she had been party to in the last few hours left her feeling lost and more than a little embarrassed. Ashley moved almost automatically to the nearest skycar terminal. There was no car available at the moment and the terminal screen indicated that it would be about five minutes before another car would arrive. Ashley pressed the button to book the next car, then sat down on a nearby bench, placed there expressly for the purpose of waiting passengers.

It would not be a very long wait, but Ash decided to try and make a little sense of what had happened the last few hours before returning to her tiny apartment for a long hot shower, real food and a proper sleep. She had popped into the place before going off to Anderson, as she wanted to change out of her armour and at least wash her face and brush her teeth.

Arriving at Anderson's office, she was ushered in immediately. One of the small benefits of her new job was the ability to get to see the Councillor immediately whenever she reported back from a mission. Despite his loss of standing on the Council following Shepard's death, Anderson was a very popular man, who was constantly in demand. The job had aged him a bit, but he still had that same drive and honesty that Ash had so admired after he had drafted her into his crew aboard the old Normandy. No matter what, Anderson had always cleared his schedule or ended engagements whenever she arrived back from a mission, with the sole exception of times when he would be serving with the Council. Ashley didn't begrudge him the exception, as she appreciated the attention he gave her.

Once inside his office, Anderson had bid her sit and relax. Ashley had noticed over the last two years that he tended to be quite informal about these debriefings, taking his time to collect every detail. He was very skilled at weaving strands of information together, often making connections that Ashley hadn't yet puzzled out.

"Welcome back Chief. I am incredibly relieved to see you have safely returned," Anderson offered with genuine warmth in his voice. Anderson had liked the mettle of the young Gunnery Chief he had met after Eden Prime, and his instincts had proven him right over the course of the last two years. She had come out of Shepard's shadow in many ways since his death, building up her own record of excellently executed missions. While Anderson would never admit it out aloud, by focussing Ashley on speciality missions for him, he was doing his best to help her deal with her grief over Shepard's death. Anderson and Shepard had been very close, and Anderson liked to think of it as his way of watching over Ashley for Shepard. If he had his way, Ashley would have been promoted even higher than she currently was, but as usual the Alliance Brass had been slow to react to his recommendations.

"Thank you sir, it's good to be back. Horizon was a mess in every possible way," Ashley sighed, suppressing flash backs that kept threatening to overwhelm her.

"I know that Ashley, and I must apologise for sending you there in the first place. If I had known..." Anderson trailed off, unable to complete the sentence.

"It's alright sir. There's no way anyone could have predicted how badly things could have gone wrong. The situation may have been FUBAR, but we are as responsible as anyone else. It's our fault that the targeting systems never worked correctly, some software bugs beyond my knowledge." Ash wondered for a moment how the hell Shepard had managed to get the system working, when her best efforts along with a handful of bright techs had failed to do so.

Ashley took a breath and began telling the entire story to Anderson, leaving nothing out. She took her time, recalling every detail to the best of her ability. Anderson did not interrupt her during her first run through, his questions and replays of certain situations would come later. Ash surprised herself at how calmly she poured out the information. Despite her anger and confusion, her training had kicked in and allowed her to continue regardless. She was still prone to outbursts and bluntness, but a lot of that had been shaped during the training she had received before embarking on the first mission for Anderson. Without a doubt, Operations Chief Ashley Williams was not the same soldier she was two years ago.

For his part, Councillor Anderson listened to Ashley without much surprise. He had already received detailed reports from emergency rescue teams that had descended on Horizon, as well as from Shepard himself. He listened carefully however; he had long ago learned that surprising nuggets of information could come from people who had been through such events, despite their shock and initial numbness. Anderson knew that he had to tell Ashley about Shepard, she deserved to know. He knew that she was likely to be angry with him, but it was something he was prepared to endure. Like Shepard himself, she had been used as a pawn by higher powers, but unlike him, she had been used unknowingly. It made him feel dirty, as he had never been fond of such activities throughout his career. While he understood the necessity sometimes, he still didn't like it. People were not tools to simply be used blindly. Operatives who could trust their superiors often did a much better job than those who were being used blindly.

Ashley wound down her report, waiting for Anderson to begin his questions. _He doesn't look very surprised at my report _Ashley thought. _In the past, he has always been surprised by some or another piece of information, but this time it looks like he is regretting something. Surely it can't be for sending me off to Horizon? I've faced far worse things _Ash thought, getting a bit worried at the look on Anderson's face.

"Thank you for the report Ashley. Normally I'd start asking you questions now, but today I've decided to forgo that. I've received detailed reports from the emergency rescue teams that arrived on Horizon, and they pretty much match what you have told me word for word. I have something to tell you instead," Anderson said, preparing himself as best he could for the news he was about to deliver. He could see Ashley tensing up slightly. Without further ado, he plunged into the matter concerned.

"I know that you are angry about and with Shepard, but not all of this is his fault. I am also to blame. You see, a few months ago while you were on another mission, I began to receive reports that he was alive. Rumours and whisperings in the dark to put it another way. Taking a chance, I sent off a message to one of his email addresses asking him to come see me. He never replied, but less than a day after I sent it, he walked into my office. I was in a conference with the Council at the time, speaking about those very rumours in fact. The Council questioned him, and then readmitted him to the SPECTRE branch. As soon as the meeting was over, about the first words out of his mouth was to ask about you. I only told him that you were alive and on a mission. I gave him no further information or a way to contact you." Anderson paused for a moment, collecting his thoughts. This was coming out better than he had expected so far.

Ashley could not hide the surprise on her face. She had wondered why Shepard had not made contact with her if she was as important in his life as she had hoped. Now she knew why. _It still doesn't excuse him from sounding like an asshole on Horizon, but at least now I'm beginning to understand a few things_ Ashley thought, signalling for Anderson to continue his story.

"You left Horizon almost immediately to get here, but Shepard beat you to the punch by quite a long margin. We had quite the discussion," Anderson said, remembering how wound up Shepard had been as he stormed into the office. Anderson had never seen Shepard that angry in all the time he had known Shepard and it had taken quite a while to calm him down and find out the real details.

"It turns out that The Illusive Man, the head of Cerberus, used Horizon and yourself as bait for the Collectors. We assumed that the abductions we kept hearing about were due to Cerberus, so we reacted accordingly on Horizon. From what I understand, this mission Shepard is on is considered beyond suicidal, and The Illusive Man was trying to prepare Shepard by cutting off any links to his past. The Illusive Man played us all like a finely tuned lute," Anderson trailed off bitterly, still feeling anger at how well The Illusive Man had played them all.

Ash sat stunned as she tried to absorb all Anderson had just revealed. _He may have been an asshole on Horizon, but it really wasn't his fault _Ash thought in anger. _That bloody bastard played us like a master conductor. We all fell into his spell, and I blew my lid at poor Craig. He didn't deserve that, it really wasn't his fault _Ash thought with growing mortification. She knew immediately she needed to apologise, and quickly. For all she knew, she might have ruined any chance of anything happening again between them when she had let her temper get the better of her. Rapidly trying to work out what she would say to him, some of the words of what Anderson had said sunk home. "_This mission Shepard is on is considered beyond suicidal." _Ashley felt increasingly miserable as her mind raced.

Anderson saw the changing emotions on the Chief's face. When it came to Shepard, Ashley was as transparent as a pane of glass. Anderson felt the emotions swirling off of Ashley. _I'd better send her home_ he thought. _She needs the break, and time to try and contact Shepard. I hope for her sake that she makes amends somehow._ "Chief, I'm ordering you to take the week off. Rest, recover and relax. I will have another mission for you after you've taken the week off. Stay on the Citadel in the mean time. You can deliver your written report on Horizon at a later stage. I'll see you in a week's time Chief. Dismissed."

"Aye aye Sir." Ashley stood up, mind still in a partial daze. She had made her way to the skycar terminal, where she now waited. She needed to get back to her apartment as soon as possible. She could dictate the message she had in mind to her omni-tool, but the lack of privacy prevented her. Breathing a sigh of relief, the skycar finally arrived. Ash got in and spoke her address. The car took off and began moving towards her apartment. Ash wanted to be angry at Anderson, but try as she might, she just couldn't be. The real culprit was The Illusive Man. Anderson had said that Shepard had been furious with the intrusion into his personal life. Ashley knew that if she ever got her hands on The Illusive Man, the outcome would not be very pretty at all.

Ten minutes later, Ash was back at her apartment. Scanning her credit chit in the skycar's payment slot, she closed the door of the car and began walking to her apartment. The moment she walked inside, her tiredness and hunger nearly overcame her, but she had a more pressing issue to deal with first. Firing up her terminal, she opened up her email application. She typed in the address Anderson had given her, and began to type furiously. She paused for a moment at the Subject line, and then simply inserted _Hey there. Generic, but it will do _Ashley thought, as her fingers danced over the haptic keyboard.

"_Shepard-_

_I'm sorry for what I said back on Horizon. When I lost you two years ago, it tore me up. I prayed for you every day. I read a lot of Tennyson, thinking about you, just like I did when my dad passed. And then you came back, and it was like my prayers were answered. But I'm not who I was then, and neither are you._

_I don't know what's true anymore. Part of me can't believe it's really you. I keep going back to that night before Ilos, our night... I haven't let myself think about those memories in over a year._

_I wouldn't have expected you to work for Cerberus, but I know why they sent you to Horizon. I saw how many people were lost there, and if anyone can stop the Collectors, you can. I can't go where you're going, but I can wish you luck._

_Just stay alive out there... Skipper. I don't know what the future holds, but I can't lose you a second time._

_-Ash_

_Death closes all: but something ere the end  
Some work of noble note, may yet be done,  
Not unbecoming men that strove with Gods."_

Looking over her handy work, Ash thought about what she had written. To anyone else who may have read the message, it might seem somewhat cool and confusing, but Ashley knew that Shepard would understand. She didn't want to apologise fully, as despite everything, she still felt that Shepard had acted poorly on Horizon. _If he reads this as he should, then he should understand that I know the circumstances now and that I am sorry. It may not be much, but I hope this helps us to mend the breach between us _Ash thought. Shepard had been the first man to enjoy her random poetry recitals. She remembered how he would stare intensely at her, in the special way that he reserved for her alone. He had told her that when she recited poetry, the universe stood still for him, that the only thing that existed was her. Ashley had laughed at his typically cheesy statement, but she had begun to understand how much he enjoyed it. Hopefully the lines she had chosen would help motivate him to survive his mission.

Scanning the message one last time for spelling errors, Ashley hit the Send button. It was done; now she could only wait and hope. Closing her terminal, Ashley wondered off to her small kitchen to fix something light and quick to eat. She was exhausted, and the email had taken her last burst of energy. _Stuff it. I feel sticky and dirty, but I'll shower after I've slept. I really need to sleep_ Ash thought as she finished her thrown together sandwich and headed off to the bedroom. Lying down, Ash whispered a quick prayer for Shepard's safety before embracing the sleep of the exhausted.


	7. Chapter 7

_Author's note: Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to review this story or added it to their alert list. I appreciate it. It's always nice to get feedback whether it's negative, constructive or positive. Every little bit helps. _

_For the record again, I do not own these characters, they are the property of BioWare. My Shepard is my own take on the character. I merely live in the awesome universes created by the masters. It's just under a year until Mass Effect 3 comes out, I personally cannot wait to see what the end of this story has in store for us.__

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**4 months later, Citadel. **

The shower may have been small and ordinary, but to Ashley it was as good as any shower was likely to get. It was warm, refreshing and relaxing, not to mention cleansing as well. As she moved around under the warm jets of water, she couldn't help but smile as she recalled the success of her latest mission. Sent by Councillor Anderson to investigate illicit Prothean artefact smuggling out in the Terminus Systems, Ashley had cracked the case wide open. The infamous Blue Suns mercenary group had been the muscle behind the operation, guarding the rogue archaeologists as well as shipping the relics from planet to planet before they reached the lucrative black market. Being a soldier, it was decided to send Ash in as a grunt to spy on the operations rather than trying to pass her off as an archaeologist. Faking credentials was incredibly easy for Anderson to achieve. After all, he had the talent of the Council's best operatives to provide such things.

The real stroke of luck however had been how desperate the Suns were to recruit new members. Ashley's face, while not nearly as well known as Shepard's, had been on the news quite a lot after they had defeated Sovereign. Ashley and Anderson had decided that if anyone asked while she was undercover, she would state that she just looked like Ashley. Going under the assumed name of Roxanne Jones, Ashley had quickly climbed the ranks of the Suns guarding the archaeologists. Her dry humour and experience as a soldier quickly established her reputation amongst the other mercs as someone to like, but not to cross by any means.

Proceeding to lather her now rather long hair, Ashley mused on how she had managed to move up the ranks. _I sometimes still can't believe how easy it was _she thought. While she had never quite figured out why the Suns had become so depleted, she had heard plenty of rumours, shared amongst the mercs during off duty periods. _No one said it out loud, but the Suns seem to have gotten in Shepard's way for some reason and I can't help but wonder what reason that was _Ash thought, absently enjoying the smell of the strawberry luxury shampoo in her hands. Ashley was far from vain or fussy, but she did like to spoil herself in small ways with things like the shampoo. An errant thought about Shepard running his fingers through her loose hair popped up with startling clarity in Ashley's mind. Just as quickly, she pushed it away. _Forget him_ Ash thought to herself.

_Even if it wasn't him, someone had the nerves to attack the leader of the Suns directly. Vido Santiago, famed leader of the Blue Suns had vanished, leaving useless underlings trying to run the Suns_ Ash thought with some scorn. While she detested mercs, if the set up ran like it was supposed to, she would never have been able to have infiltrated the Suns so quickly and easily. As it was, the mission had taken her about a month to achieve. She had assembled a massive amount of evidence and proof to be used against the Suns. Photos of transactions taking place, records of payments, cargo manifests from the ships used to ship the artefacts and more. When she felt she had enough, Ash had simply vanished like smoke. When she had presented the evidence to Anderson, he had been exceptionally pleased. He had taken it to the Council, and thanks to the sheer volume and depth, the Council were moving to disband the Suns for once and for all, as well as seizing as much of the artefacts as they could before it vanished. Her mission had earned her praise from the entire Council, including the infamously stodgy Turian Councillor. In private, Anderson had informed her that he almost never gave praise to anyone. Ashley knew only too well how tight fisted the Turian was, she vividly remembered Shepard's despair at having to deal with the man. In addition to taking down the Suns, there was enough information to start proceedings against the archaeologists and their shadowy financial backers.

Ashley was replaying some of the finer details of the mission in her head when she heard her omni-tool outside the shower beep to indicate that she had a new e-mail. Ignoring the message, Ashley took her own sweet time to finish her shower. While Ash wished for a real bath, the shower was a good second. The bathroom was too small to accommodate the bathtub she wanted, so the shower had to make do. Anderson had granted her the now customary week's down time after the mission; time Ashley planned to use to get various parts of her life sorted out, possibly including her love life. Friday night was around the corner; Ashley could see herself relaxing down in Flux or another entertainment venue. Dancing would definitely be on the menu, it had been far too long since she had enjoyed herself and shown off her moves. _Who knows, maybe I'll find someone half decent to talk to. Maybe even flirt a bit, drop a few kisses. I am supposed to be a hell cat off the battle field after all!_ Ash thought with a grin. _Pity my sisters couldn't be here or we would really get wild _Ashley mourned with another grin. She had had some very interesting times back on Amaterasu during previous shore leave in the past.

Stepping out of the shower, Ash wrapped a thick fluffy towel around her body and one around her hair. She noted that the damage caused by wearing her hair in the usual military bun had mostly been repaired during her time in the Suns. Most of the photos available on the extranet of her showed her with the bun, so she had decided to wear her hair in a loose pony tail to help change her image up. Humming quietly to herself, Ashley cleansed and toned her face, brushed her teeth and lastly applied some moisturiser. It was not something she usually did, but there had not been much in the way of luxury during her time with the Suns. _Every girl deserves a little pampering from time to time _she thought.

Finally remembering the beep from earlier, Ash padded over to her terminal, which was located in the living area of the apartment. The apartment had one bedroom, a tiny kitchen, the bathroom and the living area. It wasn't much, but considering the fact that Ashley was hardly ever there, the space was enough. As she waited for the email application to launch, Ashley wondered who it could be from. She had not heard anything from Tali or Joker in months, pretty much since Horizon now that she thought of it. Her mom would video or voice call rather than send mail, generally as would her sisters. Gunny Ellison had replied to her last week, but was on shore leave for two weeks, so he would be quiet for a while. The application finally launched. Ashley froze as she saw that the sender was Shepard. _He replies now? Almost four months since Horizon and my apology where I pour my heart out, and he sends a reply now? _She was suddenly angry, half in a mind to simply delete the message and forget it ever arrived. With a rueful sigh at how quickly she had become angry, Ash opened the email instead. As angry as she might be, she knew she could never just delete the message. _Perhaps he really does have an excuse as to why he's been so silent _Ash thought, then getting angry all over again as she felt herself weakening again. _Damn it, he's doing it again to me, and it's only an email!_

Taking a moment to compose herself, Ash began to read the message:

"_Dearest Ashley_

_I am so sorry I haven't replied back to you before now. I know this sounds like a typical pathetic excuse, but I have been so insanely busy. Added to the fact that I can never seem to write down what I'm truly thinking and feeling and you have a recipe for a terribly delayed reply._

_I hope this message finds you doing well, wherever you are right now, doing whatever it is you may be doing right now. I am doing well, all things considered, but there are many things I've yet to truly sit down and think about, to absorb and understand. I've gone where no one has gone before, but there is a lot I truly don't understand. _

_Horizon had to be one of the worst moments in my life. Without a doubt, I acted like a fool, I felt like a fool, hell I WAS a fool. I let my frustration, anger and exhaustion get the better of me, and look at what happened as a result. I have not seen you so angry since the early days when we met on Eden Prime, and all I did was to try and convince you that Cerberus wasn't the enemy of the moment. It was a stupid thing to try and do. Even though I didn't get the chance to fully explain myself, I don't think it would have mattered. What you said was the truth. I've always appreciated the fact that you speak your mind and state the facts as is. _

_I cannot begin to tell you how relieved I was to see you safe and sound on Horizon after the Collectors left. It was the wrong moment in the wrong place, but my heart nearly stopped at seeing you again after these two years. For me it had been a few months since the Normandy SR-1 went down and everything went to hell and back. I never stopped to think that it was slightly over two years for you. My heart soared to see you, but I can't even begin to imagine what it must have been like for you to see me again. When we hugged, for those brief few moments, the entire universe felt right again._

_There is a lot more I want to say to you, but I think it needs to be done face to face. You deserve as much. I am hoping you would consider meeting me for dinner on the Presidium, where we could talk as long as you wanted. You can ask any question at all, and I will answer as best as I can. I will withhold nothing. I will be on the Citadel in two days time, I asked Joker to take it slow with the ship (long story.) If you agree to meet, meet me at the relay monument at 7pm on Friday evening. If you are busy on a mission or don't want to meet, I can understand that. Just let me know either way, that's all I ask._

_Yours always,_

_-Skipper"_

It felt like a maelstrom of emotions hit Ashley all at once. Happiness to get a reply, anger at the delay, an almost overwhelming feeling of relief to know he was still alive and safe. Above all else however, she felt astonishment at his request for a date. It was incredibly bold of him, considering everything that happened. Ash shook her head and read the message again, reading each word slowly this time. As she went though the message line by line, she began to pick up on the honest emotion behind the message. It was his unique way of trying to explain feelings he couldn't understand or control. Shepard had always been honest, that had not changed in his message. Ashley sat back, trying to think.

If she declined his invite, she could move away from him and be free again. It would be a fresh start, no baggage and possible future regulations messing things up. She would always be friends with him, nothing would ever change that. On the other hand, Ashley was always curious, and walking away now would ensure that she never got the answers Shepard had promised in his message. She knew that without those answers, doubts would always nag away at the back of her mind. _Besides, _Ashley thought, _he asked me on a date! I haven't been on a date since high school and I never thought I would go on one with him, but this is a chance to enjoy something before the madness starts. It may even be my last chance _she thought, slowly realizing that she had already made up her mind.

Hitting the reply button, she pecked out a short message on the terminal:

"_Skipper,_

_I'll be there. Don't be late and don't protest either, I know you too well remember. Also, wear something decent. I'm looking forward to this, and if you wear armour, I'm going to be upset._

_-Ash"_

Ash smiled as she sent the message. It contained just the right amount of snarkiness, something he would understand. Thinking ahead, Ashley realised that she was going to be busy tomorrow and Friday morning, getting ready for the date. She needed to get new and decent lingerie, a dress and shoes for one thing. Then there was getting her hair done, manicure and pedicure, leg waxing, facial treatment and all the other little things that a serious date deserved. _Of course, Craig won't even know half the effort I've put into this _Ashley thought wryly. _He will no doubt put some effort into what he looks like, but he will never understand what we woman have to go through. Then again, he will probably expect me to pitch up there with that tin-foil mini skirt and thigh high boots I once promised _Ash thought with an uncharacteristic giggle. She had made that remark in the spur of the moment in response to Shepard sharing a rather cheesy outlook on life and love to Kaidan as they had stared out of a window in the Presidium Market. Shepard had then put his foot in his mouth by declaring that he couldn't imagine her in a skirt anyway. Kaidan had to intervene before the banter got any worse, but both Ashley and Shepard had seen that he had been trying very hard not to laugh. It had become somewhat of a gag between the three of them.

For all the tongue in cheek quality of the remark, Ash still intended to honour that remark someday. It would be on a date, but definitely not this one. Ash smiled as she thought of the reaction that outfit would have on Craig's face. Musing on the subject, Ash got up and moved to the kitchen to make herself a meal. She was hungry, sudden butterflies in her stomach be damned. Before she could start however, her terminal beeped softly. Moving back to it, Ash noted with surprise that Craig had replied so quickly. Opening up the message revealed that it was a little longer than the one she had sent:

"_Ash,_

_Thanks for letting me know, appreciate it. I am looking as forward to it as you are, perhaps even more so. Pity about your disdain for armour, I was assured by Garrus that wearing my Blood Dragon armour would sweep you off your feet. Garrus is going to be crushed when I tell him. Dr. Chakwas just shouted at me that I should wear my N7 armour as it would make me look "dashing," but I had to remind her that if I did, we would never have peace and quiet due to everyone pointing at me and wanting autographs. _

_-Skipper"_

Ashley couldn't help but chuckle at the message. Garrus would naturally suggest armour, Turians lived in their armour. She had to agree with Dr. Chakwas however, the N7 armour did make him look rather dashing. As usual however, Craig was right; wearing that armour would ensure that they wouldn't have a quiet moment. Feeling lighter than she had in months, she went back to the kitchen to prepare that meal. Tomorrow and Friday morning would be busy with pampering and beauty treatments. She couldn't wait to get started.


	8. Chapter 8

Operations Chief Ashley Williams was a hardass. She could shoot her assault rifle with the best the galaxy had to offer. She had survived Eden Prime, Virmire and Ilos. She had taken down biotics, soldiers, engineers and more. She had fought Krogan, Turian, Asari, Rachni, Geth, Salarian and humans. Together with Wrex and Shepard, they had taken out the bizarre cybernetic resurrected Saren. She was a soldier, one of the best the galaxy had ever seen. She was not known as a hellcat for nothing. She was tough, she was...

_Oh good Lord that feels so good! _Ash thought, almost moaning aloud in pleasure. The warm squishy mud settled under her chin as Ashley sat down on a ledge in the mud bath, placed exactly right for the average human and Asari female height. Wearing only the tiniest of string bikinis for modesty, Ashley settled down to enjoy the somewhat guilty pleasure of the mud bath. Letting out a long sigh of pure bliss, she took a moment to congratulate herself on coming to this beauty spa. Claudine's Health and Beauty was one of the top, if not the top such establishments on the entire Citadel. Normally requiring an extensive waiting period, Ashley had somehow managed to find a spot on the list. Initially declined, Ashley had been about to leave to canvas other venues when the attendant at the front desk had asked for her name so that she could be placed on the waiting list. When Ashley had given it, the attendant had stared at her, her face lighting up in recognition. The next thing she knew, she was being lead inside the exclusive venue. It turned out that the attendant had family on Feros, family that Shepard and Ashley had saved from the Geth two years back. He had only been too happy to secretly bump Ashley right up to the top of the list by way of thanks.

Ashley was lead to the greeting room of the spa, where she would be greeted by her personal valet for the day, as well as taking care of mundane things like which treatment package she would like as well as payment. Her valet turned out to be a beautiful young Asari, though Ashley could never really tell the age on one of them. Laseena presented Ashley with the treatment list, and then began her sales pitch. Ashley had been willing to spend money, but she didn't want to go too far overboard. She had a very large amount of savings, but those were to be used for more practical things like new armour and weapons, savings for her family and others. Ashley had planned to settle for one of the mid-level treatments, but somehow the longer she listened to Laseena, the more tempted she became to scale up. Claudine's owner had had the foresight to include mundane options like manicures, pedicures and getting your hair done at the spa, thus saving effort of going to multiple venues. Ahead of its time, the concept was now widely copied all over the Citadel, but none could ever match the original of Claudine's venue.

Looking at the "menu," Ashley caught sight of the Platinum Diamond treatment. It listed no details and the cost made her eyes bulge somewhat. 25,000 credits for a beauty treatment seemed like an outrageous crime to her. Curiosity getting the better of her however, Ashley asked Laseena what the package was all about. Laseena's face lit up, before she went into great depth on the package. It turned out that the package was massive affair that could be split up over two days. It included following: a mud bath with mud from the Dead Sea on Earth followed by a cleansing shower. A sauna treatment followed by exfoliation with pumice stone from Hawaii, again from Earth, came next followed by a full body massage with any number of oils of your choice. The second day's treatments included a full hair treatment of your choice, full facial treatment, hand massage followed by manicure, foot massage followed by pedicure. Any number of body waxings of your choice. Last but not least, makeup of your choice.

Ashley bit her lip as Laseena finished her pitch. It was highly tempting, yet she kept thinking of better ways to spend that amount of credits. Ashley was about to take one of the lower packages when she made the snap decision to take the Platinum Diamond. _It's outrageous_ she thought, _but I can't help myself. With everything to come, I may never get the chance again. Besides, those credits are just sitting there anyway, and I can't use them if I'm dead. This is a once in a lifetime treat, and best of all I can rub this in the faces of my sisters _Ash thought. "Laseena, give me the Platinum Diamond please," Ash said in a rush, not wanting to fourth guess herself again.

"Certainly ma'am. Would you like human or Asari attendants for the massages? Champagne or other drinks during your treatments?" Laseena asked, smiling happily. It was the first Platinum Diamond package she had managed to sell, the commission alone would keep her pocket full for months.

Ashley looked a bit surpsised. "I get those choices as well?" she asked, clearly surprised to find out that the package kept of growing.

"Indeed you do ma'am, sorry that I forgot to mention it. This is the first time I've had someone take the treatment," Laseena replied with a small blush. She was honest about it, hoping that honesty would make up for her forgetfulness. To her relief, Ashley brushed aside the slip up.

"Let me transfer the credits quickly," Ash said as she did exactly that. Despite all the agonising she had just gone through, the total dip in her savings appeared to be far less serious than she thought it would be. Somehow, the fact that the numbers didn't dramatically drop down deflated her concern like a popped balloon.

"Alright, I'll take the champagne during treatments, and I'd prefer human attendants if possible please. Now what?" Ash asked, ready to get underway with the treatment.

Laseena stood up and bid Ashley to follow her. She took Ashley to the changing room, where she issued Ashley a brand new disposable string bikini in a sealed package for use during her time at the spa. Laseena explained that Ash could use it or go naked, whatever she felt more comfortable with. After thinking for a moment, Ash took the bikini. Being naked had never bothered her much, but she was in a public place and using the bikini would allow her to keep some degree of modesty.

Snapping her eyes open from her reverie, Ashley slowly made her way up from the squishy mud. It was bizarre, but she had enjoyed every minute in the substance. Her whole body felt slightly tingly due to the various minerals and chemicals in the mud. Following directions, Ashley padded over to the large shower complex near the mud baths. Setting her mix to a decent lukewarm temperature, Ashley began to sluice the remaining mud off her body. The shower had a flexible head, which Ash used to reach some hard to reach places. After she was done, she felt rejuvenated somehow, full of a new kind of energy. _Kinda ironic that the Dead Sea would make me feel so alive _Ash thought.

Again, following directions, Ashley made her way to the sauna complex. She had never used the sauna before and wasn't quite sure what to expect, but some helpful person had posted some guidelines near the entrance. Following the instructions, Ash took a large fluffy towel with her into the cubicle. Closing the door set the steamer in motion. The initial setting was always completely automatic, after which you could adjust it to your liking. Ashley took her bikini off after a few moments, letting the steam get to every possible spot on her body. When she felt evenly misted, she wrapped the towel around her and sat down, increasing the steam percentage as she did so. Combined with the effects of the towel, Ashley soon began to sweat out bucket loads. It felt completely odd as the sweat came out in fits, leaving a slightly uncomfortable tingling feeling all across her torso. Luckily for Ash, that soon eased out into a more even and natural sweat. As a Marine, Ash was hardly afraid of sweat, but it was never something she actively sought. She settled down and began to wait out the two hour sweating period.

Two hours later, a sleepy and slightly cooked Operations Chief stepped out of the sauna. Although it made absolutely no logical sense, the sweat had helped to make her feel cleaner than she had been in a long while, even with her best showers. Ash was tempted to sluice off for the third time that day, but she held back. Wrapped only in her towel, Ash made her way over to the massage parlour of the venue. Passing a trash can, she disposed of her now useless string bikini.

Jenna was a beautiful young lady with blonde hair and a gentle smile. She instructed Ashley to lay down on the massage table naked, which Ashley duly did after a moment's hesitation. Exfoliation with real pumice stones was something completely new to her, so she wasn't quite sure what to expect. For a moment, Ashley had visions of herself being scraped blood red and raw by the stones, but she forced herself to relax. A light abrasive feeling on her shoulders brought Ashley out of her reverie. The stone was rough, but not uncomfortably so. Combined with the remaining dampness from the sauna, it wasn't too unpleasant. Ashley closed her eyes and let her mind drift, starting to enjoy the repetitive motions of Jenna exfoliating her back. Ashley was thinking of what sort of dress she would purchase for the date when she felt Jenna stop moving. Ashley was about to ask her if she was done, when Jenna spoke up first.

"All done Ms. Williams."

"Thank you Jenna, but I must admit that I'm a bit confused. I thought you would be doing the entire back of my body?" Ashley asked.

"Oh, I thought you knew already Ms. Williams. There's no need to exfoliate your bottom or the backs of your legs." As if to reinforce her point, Jenna poked her index finger on various spots on Ashley's butt and legs. "No, no need at all for these areas. They are smooth enough as is. If I exfoliated here, you would just be uncomfortable sitting down or walking."

"I trust your word Jenna, you are the expert after all," Ashley said with a small smile. "Now, what is next? Exfoliating the front of my body?" Ashley asked.

"Again, I don't think it would be necessary Ms. Williams, but let me check anyway. Turn over to the front please, you can cover your chest and groin with your towel if you want."

Ashley did as instructed, merely covering herself up with her hands. Jenna felt Ashley's neck, arms, stomach and thighs, checking for areas that might need to be exfoliated. As she had privately expected, there was none. _I really need to speak to Claudine about this _she thought. _She really needs to get the valets to properly explain the exfoliation step to clients._

"OK Ms. Williams, no need to exfoliate here either. Your skin is soft enough; I do not feel any unnatural rough areas. You seem to take good care of yourself. Anyway, it's time for your massage. Are there any specific oils you would like?" Jenna asked.

"Jasmine and patchouli if you have them please" Ashley asked, thinking of the scents she had always loved when she was younger. Her grandmother had always loved those scents, a love that Ashley had discovered as well. She thought it ironic that Jenna believed she took good care of herself. Ashley had spent more time being covered in mud, sweat and gore than she could care to remember. _Perhaps I just have good genes _she thought.

"Coming right up Ms. Williams. Now, if you don't mind turning back to lie on your stomach please?"

Ashley walked out of the spa a few hours later feeling like a new person. The treatment might only be half done, but she felt fantastic. After Jenna had massaged her back with the oils, even the slightly raw feeling had gone away, to be replaced by a feeling of tingly cleanness and relaxtion. Ashley checked her watch. It was only 3pm now; she still had plenty of time to go do the various other bits of shopping she had planned.


	9. Chapter 9

Commander Craig Shepard walked into his cabin feeling a little tired, but cautiously optimistic as well. He had just come from a debriefing with the Council that had lasted slightly over eight hours. The Council members had elected to resume the debriefing after the weekend, giving everyone a chance to absorb and process the information they had received on the Reapers so far. The debriefing had taken place in a secure side chamber in the Presidium Tower instead of in the main public area. It was the first time Shepard had seen the Council in the flesh since after the attack on the Citadel two years ago. Shepard sat down in the chair in front of his desk, staring absently at his collection of miniature star ships. _That went a lot better than I thought it would, though it could have been better _he thought. _At least the Council is listening to what I say now, and thankfully they are not disputing my evidence. I just hope that I did enough to convince them of the danger. If not, I'm going to have to really up my game on Monday at the next session._

Shepard's advice had originally been largely ignored at the start of the meeting, but nearing the end he had finally managed to get the three non-human councillors to mostly see his point. The Reapers were coming; that was no longer in any doubt. Where the Council was struggling at the moment was how to try and prepare for the threat. Sending out a message too soon would result in galaxy wide chaos as species scattered, each trying to find a way of safety. Crime, the fall of governments and general lawlessness would skyrocket across the galaxy. The message could not be sent out too late either, or entire species could be wiped out. The other question the Council were trying to resolve was what size force would be needed to match and defeat the Reapers, if that was even possible. The damage done by Sovereign, one single Reaper, was still on the minds of all the Council members. If not for Shepard's choice to save them, the non-human members of the Council would all have been dead. As it stood, the Destiny Ascension had barely made it to safety. Humanity had lost a lot of people that day and was still struggling to rebuild parts of the armed forces to pre-attack levels.

Shepard had suggested an aggressive military build up, but to be kept as quiet as possible until the official call went out. There were large parts of the galaxy where staging areas could be set up, troops trained, ships built out of the view of the public eye. It wouldn't be easy; the risk of information leaking out was always there. He had also suggested that the Council try and patch relations up with the Krogan and Batarians amongst others. While Shepard had no love for the Batarians, they would prove a valuable asset as infantry. Against a foe like the Reapers, unlikely allies would be needed. Old arguments and differences needed to be set aside or none of them would survive. Shepard was more positive about the Krogan however. Although he couldn't confirm anything, Shepard was sure that his good friend Wrex would not let him down. After viewing the changes Wrex was bringing to Tuchanka, Shepard began to see that it was for more than just improving the lot of the Krogan in the long run.

Shepard had also suggested that an Asari be sent to try and set up communication with the Rachni. The Council had not been pleased with Shepard's actions two years ago on Noveria when he had freed the Queen to say the least, but in his heart Shepard knew he had done the right thing. A few months back when he had visited Illium for the first time, an Asari had given him a message from the Rachni Queen. The Rachni were unlikely to fit into any normal military campaign, but the Council needed to set up some sort of communication system with them. An Asari made the best choice thanks to their enhanced mental and somewhat mystical capabilities. The Asari Councillor had not looked too happy with Shepard's suggestion, but she had agreed to give it some serious consideration.

Looking at his watch, Shepard noted that it was just after 5pm. If he wanted to be on time for his date with Ashley, he had to start getting ready. Luckily for Shepard, his favourite tuxedo had been cleaned and pressed by Rupert as a special favour. Rupert had gone the extra mile and had also spit shined Shepard's black shoes to navy standards. _I owe Rupert one for this _Shepard thought, looking at the near mirror shine of his shoes. He would have done it himself if he had time, Shepard's father had always stressed that it was important to look good when you were going out. Even if it impressed no one but yourself, it would make you feel comfortable and happy with yourself. Shepard couldn't help but recall his father's advice to him on the night of his high school prom, a number of years back now. _"Son," his father's stern but kindly voice said, "always keep your shoes polished when going out with a lady. It bespeaks a man who knows how to take care of the small things in life; that he knows that the small things count, even if no one else does. Besides, it looks fantastic with a suit or tuxedo. Make no mistake, ladies love a man in tux with shiny shoes!_" _James Shepard delivered the last line with a twinkle in his eye, further impressing the young Shepard. Hannah Shepard just rolled her eyes at the advice, though she had a smile on her face as her husband lectured their son on do's and don'ts when taking a girl out on a date. _

Shepard stepped into his private bathroom, stripped off his casual clothes and proceeded to take a good shower. All his fatigue drained away with the warm water, leaving him feeling fresh and vibrant. The nameless body wash was refreshing and left him with a faint scent that Shepard couldn't put into words. All he really cared was that it smelled nice and did the trick. Tying a towel around him, Shepard proceeded to take his second shave of the day. A quick coating of Gillette shaving gel and a few strokes with his Mach-12 razor and he was done with no nicks to his face. Squeezing a generous amount of Power Mint toothpaste onto his toothbrush, Shepard took his time brushing his teeth, trying not to rush too much. A rinse and floss later, he was left with a wonderfully minty fresh mouth.

Leaving his hair until last, Shepard squirted some hair gel into his palms and began to style his hair into its usual look. The Ultra Extreme hold rating kept his hair in place even under his helmet, something Shepard found quite amazing at times. With a final flourish, he was done. He took a moment to study his face in the mirror, noting that the scars that had been on his face since his resurrection was gone, healed completely by his implants. His green eyes were as clear as always, perhaps even sharper than they had been. Miranda claimed she had rebuilt him exactly as he was before his death, but Shepard privately suspected that she had made very minor and subtle improvements in some areas.

Shepard applied some deodorant roll on before taking his used clothes and stepping out of the bathroom. He dumped the clothes down the laundry chute and moved over to his bed, where his tuxedo was laid out. Moving over to his clothes cupboard, Shepard withdrew a fresh set of socks, boxers and a vest to wear under his shirt. In less than ten minutes, he was fully dressed, ready and rearing to go. He strapped on his omni-tool and watch. Taking a look around the cabin, he made sure the place was clean and tidy. _Hopefully Ashley will say yes to a tour of the ship and if my cabin is untidy, it's not going to look good at all _he thought. Making his way to the door, Shepard remembered at the last second that he had not put on any cologne; he stepped back into the bathroom briefly to rectify that error. Shepard only had one brand of cologne, Polo Sport for Men. It was rare and not easy to get hold of since the manufacturer only produced limited quantities of the fragrance each year. It had been a great find to discover a shop with three bottles for sale on Illium. Shepard had walked into the shop, took all three and paid for it without even bothering to look at the price. Mordin had looked at him as if he was a bit mad; Samara had been indifferent while she had stared longingly at some of the more exotic Asari brand perfumes.

Feeling completely confident, Shepard fed his fish on the way out of the Loft. A quick elevator trip later and he was in the CIC ready to disembark. As he stepped out the elevator, he was surprised to see Miranda lounging around. Miranda straightened when he arrived, her face breaking out into a smile at his effort at dressing up.

"Miranda, what are you still doing here? I thought I gave the entire crew the weekend off. Repairs to the Normandy are only scheduled to start on Monday as you well know," Shepard asked, wondering why his XO would still be on the ship. Miranda was back in her white latex cat suit, but she had a relaxed casual air about her. The tension and alertness he always sensed when he was around her was notably absent.

"Ah Shepard, you know I've got nothing better to do. I don't need to go shopping, I have no family to visit here on the Citadel and if I went clubbing with some of the crew, I would end up being totally plastered. I've decided to catch up on my mountain of paperwork and other administrative tasks. Besides, with the peace and quiet, I may finally be able to have a decent video chat with Orianna," Miranda replied, actually looking forward to the tasks she had just mentioned. For her, getting those tasks out the way would be her equivalent of taking the weekend off.

Shepard just raised his eyebrow and looked at Miranda, who ended up bursting out laughing at his expression. "Well, if you insist on being a hardhead, enjoy yourself. I've got to get going or I'm going to be late for dinner with Ashley. She'll skin me alive if I'm late," Shepard replied rather ruefully. "Enjoy your work Miranda, but please do try to relax. I'll see you at some point during the weekend I think."

"Good luck for tonight Shepard, I hope things work out between you two. Both of you deserve the happiness, so make sure you don't say anything stupid again. Oh, and by the way, you look incredibly handsome tonight, more so than you normally do," Miranda said with a wink. To her amusement, Shepard blushed at the compliment. She stepped forward and pecked him on the cheek, which made him fidget. He obviously had never expected her to do something like that. _He still has a lot to learn about me _Miranda thought with an inner smile. "Oh, on your way out of the airlock, don't forget to pick up the flowers standing there."

"Flowers? What flowers? I didn't order any flowers," Shepard replied, confused.

"It's for Ashley you twit. You can't go to a date this important and not give the woman flowers. What's wrong with you?" Miranda replied with a mock frown.

"I'll blame that on my dad. He gave me all the advice I needed except the bit on flowers," Shepard replied rather glibly. He _had_ in fact intended to get flowers for Ashley, but in the rush to get done he had forgotten about it. Miranda had just saved his ass again. To his amusement, Miranda just laughed again.

"Get going then, you don't want to be late!" she squawked, playfully slapping him on the arm.

"Yes ma'am! Anyway, as I said, do try and relax this weekend my friend. You've earned it." With that, Shepard moved through the CIC to the airlock. True to her word, a bunch of red and white roses sat there in cryo packaging. The packaging would keep the roses fresh and wilt free until they were put into a vase of water. Shepard picked up the package and entered the airlock. A decontamination scan later and he was free, walking though the catwalk to the nearest skycar terminal. He began to feel nervous with every passing moment, though luckily he didn't start sweating. It had been four months since Horizon, since he had last seen the most wonderful woman in the galaxy. The nature of the evening also weighed heavily on him. If he screwed up, it would be the first, last and only date he ever had with Ashley. A skycar arrived, shaking him out of his thoughts.

Shepard got in and placed the flowers on the seat next to him. He inputted his destination, closed his door and set off. It would take about ten minutes for the car to get to the Presidium from the Normandy's civilian docking bay. Shepard closed his eyes and began to think of what he was going to say when he saw Ashley. _I just hope the famous Shepard charm works tonight_ he thought as the car climbed moved into the traffic routes that ran around the entire Citadel. _Here goes nothing _he thought before he started to work on his apology speech.


	10. Chapter 10

_Author's note: Thank you once again to everyone who has taken the time to read this story, reviewed it or added it to your alert lists. It's been a fantastic feeling to get so many hits for my second attempt at writing a story. For Janizary, I like to imagine the laundry chute is near the door into the cabin, close to EDI's spot. Also, I loved your comment on the Mach-12, made me laugh a lot. To Arkbird7, thank you for the kind words and support. I'm glad you are enjoying this as much as I am._

_Without further ado, I present chapter 10. I don't own any of the fantastic characters in the Mass Effect universe, my Shepard is merely my spin on the character. I'm simply a lucky fan who lives in the universes BioWare creates. Note that the actual dinner starts to happen in this chapter and will continue in the next one.

* * *

_Ashley stared absently at the Relay monument, not bothering to focus on any one particular part of it. The Presidium was in early evening cycle; the lights were dimmed and a faint cool breeze was circulated throughout the massive ring. The breeze kissed Ashley's bare shoulders and gently blew her hair around. The feeling of having her hair flat ironed and loose was wonderful for Ashley, but she had to consciously stop herself from reaching up to fiddle with her hair. So used to the bun, anything else took a while for her to adjust to.

Stopping her hand from creeping up again, Ashley focussed her eyes on the monument in front of her. It was a good meeting spot, easily found in the otherwise bewildering maze of the Citadel. For most people the monument was just a wonderful piece of art, others a symbol of Prothean pride. Only a bare handful of people knew that the monument was in fact a fully functional mass effect relay, though obviously on a miniature scale. Positioned as it was, a trip through this relay was a very unsettling and even nauseating experience. Another memory formed in Ash's mind, swimming up from two years ago as she stared at the monument.

_Shepard, Wrex and Ashley were jumbled around in the Mako as Shepard deftly manoeuvred the vehicle to avoid fire from the Geth Colossi guarding the fabled and near mythical Conduit. Until they had seen the thing, they had had no clue that it was an actual mass effect relay. They had all been quite stunned by the revelation. It seemed crazy that they had scoured the galaxy, travelled through a lost relay only to find a relay right back to the Citadel. Ashley wanted to curse at all the lost time, but she stopped herself. If they hadn't come to Ilos, they would never have learnt that Shepard fully understood the Prothean language. They would never have encountered Virgil and learnt the truth about the stunningly tragic downfall of the Protheans, as well as the true nature of the Relays and the Citadel. Above all, if not for Ilos, she and Shepard might never have had a chance to act on their feelings. Their love making was still fresh in her mind, though she tried not to focus on it at the moment. _

_With a shout of "Hang tight!" Shepard floored the accelerator of the Mako and rushed towards the closing Conduit. It was an insane dash, racing against the countdown timer on the Mako's HUD and trying to avoid Colossi fire. Wrex gave up trying to fire the Mako's cannon and instead tried to secure himself even further in his seat. Ashley was doing the same when the Mako lurched and tilted backwards. Ashley couldn't help herself; she let go of a scream as they were transported into the mass effect corridor. In less than the blink of an eye, they were shooting across thousands of light years towards the Citadel. The entire experience was completely surreal, beyond any words Ash could think of._

_The next moment, they were hurtling downwards out of the Relay monument on the Presidium. Wrex didn't even have time for a grunt when they smashed into geth stationed at the foot of the monument, bouncing and careening off the floor before finally coming to a stop at the foot of the massive Citadel Tower. _

_Stunned nearly senseless, they slowly made their way out of the now thoroughly wrecked vehicle. Amazingly, none of them had any more severe injuries than scrapes and bruises. Their armour had protected them from concussions, a fact they were all grateful for. Surveying the wreckage, Shepard had quipped that they had just had the ultimate roller coaster ride. "If things don't work out in the Alliance after this, I can always start a business offering rides like that to hardcore thrill seekers," he stated with an insane grin. Ashley had been about to chirp him when the humour faded from his face and the cold distant Infiltrator's face had come on. Ashley had been oddly comforted to see that face. She knew that no matter what happened now; Shepard would succeed or die trying. Her love for him swelled even more that moment. After querying a still working AVINA terminal, they moved into the elevator. The time had come._

A quietly calm voice next to her brought her out of her memories. "It really brings back a lot of memories doesn't it? Kaidan always said that this place made his teeth itch but he could never figure out why. I guess we've figured out why after all." Ashley's heart suddenly raced at hearing that voice, but she forced herself to be calm. She turned to her left to see Shepard leaning on the rail, looking at the monument himself. In the space of one heart beat, Ashley took in the fact that he wore a fantastic looking tuxedo, but with Cerberus symbols on it. Her eyes narrowed at that, but she withheld her questions for the moment. In her first true good look at him, Ashley noticed that he looked much the same as he always had, but had a tension in him that wasn't there when they had been searching for Saren two years ago.

Shepard turned to face her, those startlingly green eyes sparkling with a pleasure Ashley had rarely seen before. The corners of his mouth started to crook up in that smile he shared with her alone. "Hello Ashley. It's good to see you again." He looked about to say more, but he was cut off as Ashley moved turned to embrace him. Reacting on instinct, they were in hug before anything else could be said. It was as emotionally charged as the hug on Horizon, but without the explosive emotions behind it. Ash rested her face on his chest and tightened her arms around him. As it was on Horizon, she felt at peace in those arms. For a few moments, there were no Reapers, no galaxy wide threats. There was simply a man and a woman, lovers who had been hurt but who had not given up hope.

"Hello Skipper. It's good to see you as well. It must be my lucky day, because you are on time as well," Ashley quipped almost automatically. She instantly wanted to take it back, but Shepard's smile grew even bigger. Ashley had almost forgotten that Craig loved her teasing and cutting comments, something not many people enjoyed. It had never ceased to surprise or please her that when she was with him, she could just be herself. Most of the time he took her jibes on the chin, but sometimes he would hit back with a gem of his own that more often than not had her doubled over laughing.

Ashley held on for a few more moments before stepping back. She couldn't help but feel warmed by Shepard's grin; she felt an answering grin inside her trying to break free. Forcing herself to be a little more serious, she decided to ask about the Cerberus symbols on his tuxedo before they went any further.

"You look fantastic in that tuxedo Skipper, but if you don't mind me asking, why do you still have those Cerberus symbols on it?" Ashley asked, keeping her voice calm.

Shepard absently scratched the back of his head as he framed an answer that would satisfy her without sounding totally stupid. Try as he might however, he just couldn't couch the words in that fashion. Instead he decided to speak the pure truth. He was done trying to play word games; he would save that for other occasions. "There are two real reasons I guess. The first and most mundane one is that I only own two pieces of clothing that is suitable for looking presentable in. I do have another tuxedo, but it is plain black and not that good looking to be honest. That left me with this tuxedo, which just so happens to be my favourite set of clothes. The second reason is that I want to take a symbol that has brought fear and unhappiness to many people and try to turn it around somehow. I don't work for Cerberus anymore, and I want to show people that they shouldn't have to fear seeing this simple diamond shape anymore."

Ashley mulled over his answers, absently tucking errant strands of hair back into place. The first reason sounded completely plausible. Back in the days of the first Normandy, Shepard had no other clothes besides the standard Alliance issue fare and his armour. The second reason sounded somewhat contrived, but Ashley had to credit him with the idea. If anyone could take the power behind the symbol away and reduce it back to the simple diamond shape it was, it would be Shepard.

"Thanks Skipper, I appreciate your honesty. I don't know if what you want to do with that symbol will work, but if anyone can make it happen, it's you." Ashley placed her hand on his arm, trying to let him feel the sincerity in her words. As she did so however, her stomach chose that moment to let go of a rather embarrassing rumble. Ash was reminded that she hadn't eaten since breakfast that morning, with no time to stop for lunch due to all her running around. Ashley blushed while Shepard just chuckled.

"Are you hungry marine? What say you that we go get something to eat?" Shepard said playfully in his best Commander's voice.

"Aye aye sir, hungry enough to give even a Krogan pause. Just point me to the chow sir," Ashley responded in her best subservient grunt voice, trying hard not to break out into a fit of giggles yet again, seeing that Craig was fighting the same compulsion. Laughter could never be held back, and before long both were laughing at the silly way they were behaving. Both knew that the serious chat was still to come, but the mirth now was a welcome return to the past.

Ashley moved back from the guard rail and moved to pick up the fairly large duffel bag that had lain almost forgotten at her feet. As she had been preparing for the date tonight, the thought had occurred to her that if things went well, Shepard may have wanted to give her a tour of the new Normandy. By the time they would be done, it would be quite late. Instead of trying to rush back to her apartment, Ash could always just crash the night in the ship. That had lead to another thought that perhaps she could stay on the ship for the weekend. If she and Shepard were to rekindle their bond, they had to be close and would need to do a lot of talking. Shuttling back and forth to her apartment every day would be a waste of time. Accordingly, Ashley had packed provisions in the bag: a new toothbrush, face cloth, hand towels, make up, hair brushes, fresh underwear, toiletries, two nightgowns, socks, slacks and two plain t-shirts, sneakers in case she did some working out and lastly some plain sandals for loafing around.

Ashley didn't know yet how things were going to work out, so she decided to carry the bag for herself for the time being. As she had expected, Shepard had offered to carry it for her, but she turned him down. He looked puzzled, clearly trying to wonder why she would bring a duffel bag to dinner, but Ashley decided that it would be best if she didn't tell him. He was a smart man after all; perhaps he would work it out for himself in time.

"So Craig, I presume you've booked us a seat at some decent restaurant somewhere in the Wards?" Ashley asked, ready to be off. She wanted to satisfy her hunger, but she was also hungry to find out the answers to the questions she had. Ashley knew that she was perhaps too anxious, but deep down she was afraid. She was afraid that if she blinked too quickly or closed her eyes, Shepard would be gone and she would discover that this was all a dream. She took a deep breath to try and focus. It helped a little, but not nearly enough to suit her.

"Reservation yes, Wards no," Shepard replied a little cryptically. At Ashley's confused look, he elaborated further. "I made a reservation yes, but not for any restaurant on the Wards. There are good restaurants there, but they can't compare to the Presidium based ones. I've got us a booking at The Green Hills restaurant. We should probably start to move if we want to make it in time," Shepard said, noticing that the time had already raced on.

"Wait, Green Hills as in The Green Hills of Earth restaurant?" Ashley exclaimed, eyebrows rising up. "One of the most expensive and exclusive restaurants for humans on the entire Citadel?"

"That's the one, unless there's another Green Hills I don't know about? Wait; is there a problem with the restaurant Ash? We could always go somewhere else if you don't like it," Shepard replied, worrying that his choice wouldn't be acceptable. Anderson had recommended the venue to Shepard during a break in the debriefing. After viewing their menu, Shepard had fully agreed with Anderson's approval of the place. Actual real meat from real cows back on Earth, the finest wines from Earth and so much more for humans who were feeling homesick or nostalgic. Anderson had advised him that the place was usually fully booked at all times. Shepard had called the place, only to have the receptionist confirm what Anderson had said. When the lady had asked who was calling and discovered that it was Shepard, she had transferred the call to her manager. He in turn had simply declared that a place would not be found for Shepard, a place would be made. He had even gone so far as to try and persuade Shepard to accept the entire evening on the house, but Shepard had luckily persuaded him that it would not be necessary. While the evening would be expensive, credits really were not an issue to Shepard.

Ash shook her head, indicating to Shepard that it was fine. "It's fine Craig, just unexpected. I've heard stories about that place, how difficult it is to get in and the cost. Do I even want to know how you managed to get a booking?"

Shepard decided the situation was too good to pass up. He decided to ham it up for all he was worth. "Well, I went there in my lunch break from my debriefing. The manager refused to squeeze me in. So, I simply stood there, crossed my arms, frowned at him and raised my eyebrow. He cracked under the pressure of the mighty eyebrow frown," Shepard exclaimed, giving Ash a demonstration of what he thought to be the perfect eyebrow look. He was a bit disappointed when Ashley's reaction was to almost choke from laughing at him. He had to admit, he deserved it after screwing up that gag. _Perhaps it's only intimidating to men _he mused. "Seriously though, we should be off Ashley. It's not too far from here, but I do want us to get seated in time."

Ashley finally held back her laughter with some effort. Eyes sparkling, she carried the duffel bag in her right hand and offered the other to Shepard. He didn't hesitate to take her hand and walk side by side with her. They had never had much chance to hold hands in the past, something Ashley was quite sad about. Her hand was smaller than his, but somehow the shape was a perfect match for his. When they held hands together like this, it was like the hands were designed just for that moment. As she walked, it amazed Ash to think that for all the killing their hands did, they could be so comfortable and offer so much comfort to each other.

Craig walked next to Ashley in companionable silence for the moment. They had shared a lot of laughter the last while and it had cheered his heart up tremendously. All the fatigue and burdens he always seemed to feel had vanished. His step felt lighter than it had since he had woken up in the Cerberus facility almost a year ago. As he walked, he kept sneaking glances at Ashley. He hadn't had a chance to compliment her yet, and he was worried he was going to trip over his tongue repeatedly when he tried to do so. Ashley had obviously gone to some length for this date while he had spent an hour at most preparing, which made him feel somewhat bemused at the differences between women and men. Her effort had paid off in spades though he thought. From her gorgeous hair that hung stunningly straight over her shoulders down to the middle of her back to the delicate make up that enhanced and highlighted her features without overpowering them in any way. She wore a wonderfully revealing cocktail party dress that left her shoulders bare, was cut low on the chest and ended just below her wonderfully sculpted bottom. The plain black was broken up and enhanced by sequins on the front of the dress that caused the dress to shimmer in the light as she moved. Added to all this beauty, she wore a pair of strappy silver high heels that just fitted in perfectly. Her finger and toe nails were painted silver to match the shoes and sequins. Some delicate silver and diamond necklace and earring set completed the outfit. All in all, it had to be the most exquisite combination Shepard had ever seen and he couldn't take his eyes off her. A sudden image of him running his hands though her hair, mussing it while he was kissing her suddenly shot though his head. _Keep it clean Craig_ he warned himself. _Don't start day dreaming now, keep it together pal._

It seemed Ashley was aware of his attention, because she would turn her head slightly towards him to better show off her neck. Shepard jerked his eyes back front every time she did that, blushing furiously at being caught. After the last time, Ashley had squeezed his hand and chuckled softly. She had told him that she didn't mind him looking and that she would enjoy it more if he was just open about it. Shepard had thought his face would look like a tomato soon, but it didn't stop him from looking openly after that. _Ashley could wear a dress made from sackcloth tonight and she would still look as stunning _he thought. _Perhaps it's that glow her skin has, her laughter or whatever magical thing it might be, it just increases her beauty a thousand fold. I still can't believe that I'm here with her now _he thought. _It must have taken a lot of confidence on her part to wear an outfit like this, but then again, Ash was always the brave one. If anyone could pull it off, it would be her._ He suddenly ached to hold her again, to kiss her lush lips and whisper in her ear that he loved her; instead he used his training to suppress those desires for the moment.

A quick journey by skycar took them a quarter of the Presidium ring away from the Relay monument, leaving them just outside The Green Hills. He got out of the car first, offering his hand to Ashley to help her out like any gentleman of old would. Her smile at his courtesy lit up her face yet again and Shepard had to focus very hard not to simply kiss her then and there. Ashley left her duffel bag in the skycar. Shepard had booked the car out for the rest of the evening and it would be safe in the car. A small logical part of him knew that this evening could still go wrong, even though he was as positive as he could be and he tried to ignore that part of him as much as possible. Since he had first seen her standing by the monument, Shepard had been burning every image of her into his head. He did not want to be negative, yet he burned them in anyway just in case.

Giving himself a mental shake to snap out of his maudlin thoughts, Shepard escorted Ashley up the stairs to the entrance of The Green Hills. The doorman politely opened the door for them and instructed them to wait in the foyer. Shepard found the instruction a bit odd, but he complied with it. Based on what he could see into the restaurant proper from the foyer, the place looked packed. It would not be easy to have chat quietly in the buzz he heard, but on the positive side, anything they said was unlikely to carry far from their table.

"Commander Shepard, Operations Chief Williams?" a voice called out.

"Yes?" Shepard answered, seeing the owner of the voice enter the foyer. The man was dressed in a tuxedo like Shepard, if a more stiff and formal one. He moved to shake Shepard's hand.

"Gary Barker, owner of The Green Hills. One of my managers informed me of your call this morning and the arrangement he made with you. I knew I had to greet you personally, it was the least I could do. Might I say Chief Williams that you look fantastic beyond words?" the man enthused, obviously taken by Ashley's beauty. Ashley blushed a little, which only increased her glow Shepard thought. She thanked him and stated that she knew tonight would be a wonderful experience.

"If you'll follow me, I'll lead you to your table. I have my best waiter at your service tonight." Gary explained as he led them to their table. The table was a lot larger than Shepard had expected. In fact, the whole set up looked as if they had been given one of the premiere tables, a long step up from the manager declaring that space would be made. Shepard absently wondered if Gary had needed to cancel someone else's plans for this evening, but then he put the thought from his mind. For one night only, he wanted to be selfish and just enjoy himself. Shepard pulled out Ashley's chair, waving off Gary in the process. As he sat down himself, he noted the bottle of red wine sitting in ice next to the table. He noted the label and smiled. He didn't know how Gary had figured out how much he enjoyed this wine, but he was happy to see it.

Gary poured the first glasses of wine himself before departing, promising to send the waiter over in a few moments with their menus. Shepard and Ashley began to relax, enjoying the soft background music and decor from Earth.

"Craig,"

"Ashley,"

They both paused, each having spoken at the same time. Neither of them knew how to proceed. Shepard took the chance and spoke first before he lost his nerve.

"Ashley, how do I even begin? Where do I even begin? Well, I suppose I should start off with when we emerged near Alchera. Feel free to ask any questions as I go along" Shepard began, settling himself down for a long period of talking. Looking into her eyes, Shepard began his tale, starting with the fateful day the Normandy had arrived in the Amada System, looking for Geth.


	11. Chapter 11

"To this day, I still have no idea if the Collectors showing up in the Amada system when they did was planned, co-incidence or some sort of betrayal from somebody inside the Council," Shepard began, trying to collect his thoughts into a semblance of logical order. He hadn't had much time to think about why the Collectors showed up when they did, though he had developed some theories in the rare moments he let his mind wonder.

"You know what happened after that Ash, I don't think I need to repeat that. What I do need to do is say this: I'm not sorry I forced you to leave the Normandy when I did. What I am sorry about is the tone of voice I used when I ordered you. You can call it cowardice perhaps, but I did not want you to risk your life by staying with me in a situation like that. My first and only thought was to protect you, no matter what," Shepard stated quietly, looking into Ashley's eyes. He expected her to be upset about the matter. She was a Marine who had shown on any number of occasions that she could take care of herself, despite the odds. Craig hoped that Ashley would understand now, almost three years later.

Ashley struggled to hold Shepard's gaze as she recalled those frantic few moments before everything had gone to hell. She had been angry at Shepard for months after the event, feeling that she had been somehow cheated out of her fate to be beside him no matter what. She had privately railed and cursed at him, before usually breaking down in tears. It had only been in the last few months where she had begun to realise that what he had done was the right thing. Her life had value and meaning separately from his, and he had given her the chance to continue on. Going down on the ship would have been a waste and a dishonour to those who couldn't get out.

"You made the right choice Skipper, tough as it is for me to say that. I didn't understand it at first, but I do now. I suppose that if you had made it into the escape pod with Joker or if he hadn't been so fanatical in the first place, I wouldn't have been so angry. I just felt so helpless, sitting in that capsule, hearing the news from Joker that you had been spaced. I know now there wasn't anything I could have done, but life is like that you know. We always wish we could have done something more," Ashley said, feeling a tension she hadn't known about drain out of her.

Before either one could speak further, their waiter arrived with menus. Shepard didn't even need to consult the menu; he had looked at it earlier that day. "I'll have the 600 gram steak fillet please, done medium rare. I'd like it with french fries and a cheese sauce with slices of bacon in it. No garnish or vegetables please," Shepard ordered, visions of the steak suddenly coming into mind. He looked over to Ashley, who appeared to be deep into the menu. "Give us about five minutes please while the lady makes up her mind. Put my order through once you have hers."

"Certainly sir, just wave when the lady is ready to order and I'll be right over," the waiter replied, memorising the rest of Shepard's order.

"So, anything catch your eye Ash?" Shepard asked, noting that Ashley had started to chew her bottom lip unconsciously.

"This chicken alfredo pasta looks fantastic, but so does this small filet with the vegetables. Hmm, pasta or meat," Ashley trailed off, mentally weighing the various options. Shepard was about to open his mouth when Ashley spoke up again. "Chicken alfredo it is. I can get a steak almost anytime, but a well cooked pasta isn't that easy to come by."

Shepard smiled and waved the waiter over. Ashley placed her order, a small excited smile on her lips as she did so. Shepard was privately pleased to see that smile. _So far it's going better than I expected. I don't think I've ever seen Ash so relaxed and care free _he thought. _The more I think about it, the more I think this is something we both needed very much. Seeing her right here shows me what I'm fighting for._

Ashley settled back in her seat, the waiter having gone to place the order for their meals. She took another small sip of her wine, enjoying the taste. _I'm no wine expert, but this has to be some of the best I've ever tasted _she thought. _Well, perhaps on par with some of the wines from Amaterasu._ "Craig, I am really enjoying this wine. Do you know where this is from by any chance? I think my whole family would love this wine," she asked.

"It's a vintage Sauvignon Blanc from Stellenbosch in South Africa, back on Earth. Specifically, it's from the famous Nederburg wine farm. My dad is the one that actually introduced me to this many years ago. I could never understand why he always enthused so much about it until I tasted it. It goes well with just about any meal I think, and I've yet to encounter a better wine in all my travels," he replied.

"Well, so far I'm definitely going to have to agree with you. If I ever get the chance to see your dad again, I'll have to see what other pieces of wisdom Shepard Senior has in that head of his," Ashley replied, thinking back to her one meeting with James Shepard, the day of Shepard's funeral here on the Citadel. Ashley had kept in touch with Hannah Shepard sporadically over the last few years. Busy as they were, Ashley had seen how their love for each other and for their son had always made things work out, despite the pressure and stresses they faced.

Shepard raised an eyebrow, his face creasing in surprise. "You've met my father?"

"I did, once only. It was after the funeral that was held for you here on the Citadel. I met your mother as well. We've emailed each other a few times since then," Ashley replied, feeling sombre at the mention of the funeral. _It is a tough thing to reconcile_ she thought. _That funeral was one of the toughest days of my life. Yet now here he is in front of me, alive and well. I wish this were easier. Then again, it's not like anyone has a guide on how to treat your dead boyfriend who has recently returned to life. _

Shepard's face became distant at the mention of his funeral. Ashley was afraid she had dampened the mood completely, but to her relief, Shepard's face returned to normal. "I had heard about the funeral from Tali and Garrus, but I never dug too deep. I guess it's not something any sane person would want to hear about, their own funeral of all things. They told me that you gave a speech and recited some poetry. It's weird to say this, but thank you. It means a lot to me." Ashley decided to change the subject before it got too emotional.

"Tali and Garrus? They are part of your current crew? I'm a bit surprised. Last time Tali contacted me, she was still in the Migrant Fleet. Garrus just simply vanished, like he never existed," Ashley mused, recalling how odd it had been when the Turian had just vanished. She and Tali had stayed in contact like they promised they would, but things had grown quieter before Shepard had been resurrected. Tali had become increasingly busy with missions and their correspondence had become short simple messages, unlike the letters of old.

Shepard nodded with a smile. "They are indeed part of the crew, along with Joker and Dr. Chakwas from the original crew. I'd tell you how they joined the crew, but then we'd be sitting here into next week," Shepard grinned with an eye roll. The recruitment of Tali and Garrus had not been easy or quick, but it had been worth it to have at least some of his former crew back together. They had provided a foil for the Cerberus crew members as well as the new squad mates Shepard had recruited. Despite their history however, Shepard had been careful not to use Tali and Garrus on too many missions, lest the rest of the team think that he was favouring his old crew. _Truth be told _Shepard thought, _with the wide variety of skills on offer now in my team, I can afford to mix things up a lot more than I could before. I do wonder if I shouldn't set up a second unit however, which could help ease some of the tension on ship. That way, not everyone depends on me for mission time _he mused, making a mental note to speak to Miranda and Jacob about the idea soon.

"Well, I'm glad that you got some friends to look out for you at least Craig. How does the rest of your team fit in though?" Ash asked, feeling quite curious. Anderson had mentioned to her that Shepard's team was far larger than the one he had on the SR-1, but that it was composed of wildly different people. He hadn't gone into further detail, leaving Ashley feeling professionally curious and perhaps just a bit envious.

"My team is an...interesting bunch," Shepard replied in a somewhat droll way. "I've got a hyper active Salaraian professor, two former Cerberus operatives, a master thief, a hackneyed old merc, a dying Drell, a former maximum security unstable biotic, an Asari Justicar, a very juvenile Krogan, not to mention Tali and Garrus. Oh, and a specialised geth platform who seems obsessed with me for some reason," Shepard listed wryly, thinking of the makeup of his squad.

"Geth! You have a geth as part of your team?" Ashley spluttered, her face mirroring her shock. "After Eden Prime, chasing Saren and the Battle of the Citadel fighting those things, you take one onto your team? Did getting spaced rob you of your intelligence Skipper?" Ash exclaimed, her cheeks suddenly colouring as she realised what she had said. "Shit, I didn't mean that last part Craig, I'm sorry. That was totally inappropriate," Ashley mumbled, looking away from Shepard. _Great move Ash, _she thought. _Putting your foot in it, all the way down this time. It's a geth for crying out loud, but still, what possessed me to say that to him?_

Ashley risked a glance up, expecting a rebuke on Shepard's face. Instead, he was smiling rather wryly. "Apology accepted Ash," he stated rather dryly. His face becoming more serious now, Shepard continued. "I know how you feel Ash; we fought them together you know. Thing is, Legion saved my life on one of my key missions against the Collectors, it risked everything to aid us. I decided I had to get to know what drove this geth, so I took it back to the ship after it had been knocked out. For what it's worth, Miranda and Jacob, my ex-Cerberus colleagues, suggested that I either toss it out the airlock or hand it over to Cerberus for a cash bounty. I chose neither and decided to speak with it instead. In return, I think I've developed one of the strangest friendships ever. Legion is loyal to me and my mission. I have learnt a lot of things from it in the last few months concerning the geth, things we never even expected," Shepard said, voice gentle.

Ashley shook her head, still struggling to reconcile the fact that a geth was serving with Shepard. She didn't think she could ever have been able to take that leap of faith to trust in the thing if she had been in command, especially not after Eden Prime. Still, if there was anyone in the galaxy who could pull off such an outrageous act, it could only have been Shepard. If anyone could be said to be doing more to foster understanding between humans and other species in the galaxy, Ashley hadn't heard of that person. Somehow, Shepard had a knack of uniting and bringing together wildly disparate people with different motives and somehow forging a team out of them. It was something Ashley had always envied about him, and was one of the things that had so attracted her to him as they had gotten to know each other. Ashley was about to open her mouth to reply when she was cut short by the waiter delivering their meals. Faced with the steaming hot food in front of her, Ash was reminded of the fact that she hadn't eaten much that day at all. Suddenly, the weight of the galaxy and all its pressing concerns seemed less important. _I'm here with Craig, I have a great meal in front of me and this is a wonderful restaurant. Selfish or not, I'm just going to let go and enjoy myself for tonight _Ash thought, picking up her fork.

As Ashley was about to bit into her fist fork of the pasta, Shepard suddenly made a face. Alarmed, Ashley spoke up. "Skipper, is everything alright? You look rather upset at something?"

"I just realised that I left the flowers I was going to give you on the seat next to me in the skycar I took to get to the Presidium. In all the rush to get here on time, I forgot to take it off the seat when I got out. Damn," Shepard cursed, feeling like a fool. He had ideally wanted to present the flowers to Ashley right there at the Relay monument, but in his haste to get to her, he had clumsily forgotten them. That only compounded the fact that he had forgotten to get flowers for Ash in the first place. An idea suddenly struck him. Somebody could have turned the flowers in if the car had been used again, or if the car hadn't been used, it would still be sitting there. He could call C-Sec and ask them to locate the skycar and send someone to investigate. "I'll be back in a moment Ash, I'm just going to call C-Sec quickly. Please, keep eating. This shouldn't take long." Shepard excused himself from the table and moved into the entrance foyer of The Green Hills.

Ashley frowned at his sudden departure, wishing that he had just stayed put. Flowers would have been nice, but they were not the end of the world. She would rather have preferred his company, but Ashley knew that if he didn't act now, the forgotten flowers would act on his mind the whole night. It was a peculiar quirk about him she reflected, in that if he set out to do something, he would do his utmost to stick to it, even if it wasn't exactly necessary. Ashley gave up bothering and continued to eat her pasta, savouring the incredible taste and range of flavours. It was almost as wonderful as her mother's cooking, and a million light years ahead of what she had been eating on Horizon. Before Ash had finished four servings, Shepard returned, looking relaxed and happy. Ashley spoke up. "I presume by your smile you've managed to arrange some sort of plan?"

"I have. C-Sec traced the skycar and determined that it was still sitting on the Presidium. It seems I was lucky in that no one else needed to use that car. They are going to send an officer around to collect the flowers and hold them at the Reception desk for me. We can collect it when we leave. Looks like I'm going to need to get a few gifts for the officers," Shepard said, feeling and looking relieved. Putting the matter out of his mind for the time being, he began to cut into his steak. He looked up to see Ash smiling at him, in a way that suggested she was trying hard not to laugh. He gave her his best grin before picking up his chunk of steak and proceeding to eat it. The burst of flavour in his mouth was near divine. The meat was perfectly tender and juicy, characteristics of fillet steak he loved the most, while tasty and still very hot. The cheese sauce was tangy and sharp, making his mouth water even more. He smiled down at the steak, and then smiled at Ashley. He couldn't be happier at the moment. For once, everything seemed to be just perfect.


	12. Chapter 12

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_Author's note: I apologise for the long delay between the previous chapter and this one. Real life has a habit of getting in the way of the most carefully laid out plans, but hopefully I'm back on track now. Thanks to every reviewer who has left comments, I appreciate it. Without further ado, I present the next chapter.  
_

* * *

Ashley and Craig were strolling around on the Presidium, taking their time to enjoy the sights so often ignored on the magnificent ring. They had finished dinner half an hour ago, with promises to Gary that they would be back as soon as duty allowed. Ashley had expected Shepard to offer to take her back to the Normandy for the promised tour, but he had instead suggested taking the time to stroll around the Presidium. Ashley had wondered why Shepard would suggest such a thing, but after walking for a few minutes, she began to appreciate his wisdom.

_I really pigged out at dinner _Ash thought with a blush. _I don't usually eat that much, but that damned chicken alfredo was divine. That and the desert. And the drinks_ Ash thought, blush growing deeper. _Craig's idea to walk around a bit is a good one. It gives us the chance to let the food settle and avoid feeling bloated while letting us continue chatting. Sometimes I really underestimate his shrewdness _Ash mused as they stopped on one of the bridges to look around this entire section of the Presidium. It really was a breath-taking sight, though some of the sheen was taken off by the fact that Ashley knew the Reapers were responsible for creating it. Ashley moved closer to Shepard, holding onto his arm more tightly now that they were stationary again. Since the walk had begun, Ashley had simply taken hold of Shepard's arm and hand and had refused to let go. Thinking about it, Ash gave Craig's hand a quick squeeze.

Shepard squeezed the soft hand holding his back, though he didn't take his eyes off the view for the moment. The peace and tranquillity of the Presidium in its evening cycle seemed a mirror of his own emotions tonight. Calm, cool and highly pleasant. The conversation with Ashley had gone a lot better than he had expected; he had covered far more ground than he had expected to at the beginning of dinner. Part due to Ash's new experience at drawing out information, part due to his instinctive trust of her, the words had simply poured out of him. Story after story, tale after tale, it had all come out.

Craig had wanted to ask some questions of his own, but he wasn't able to get them in due to Ash's questions. As he kept answering them however, he discovered that the questions and answers contained most of what he wanted to know anyways. It wasn't the same as just asking her outright, but he had long ago learned how to be patient. Shepard again thanked the choice he had made years ago when he had enlisted to specialise in being an Infiltrator for the Navy. One of the most important lessons taught to every potential Infiltration specialist was patience. Not many succeeded in learning the lesson, but Shepard had taken it to heart.

He decided it was time to move on, collect the flowers at Reception and return to the Normandy. Despite the incredible boost of dinner with Ash, his energy reserves were running low. Craig finally tore his gaze away from the scenery and gently pulled on Ash's arm. Ash looked up with a smile before settling into step next to him. Shepard made sure not to step onto her toes as they walked. He couldn't help but smile at the image. He of many titles and honours, carrying the shoes of the woman he loved in one hand, afraid of stepping onto her feet while she strolled along seemingly without a care in the world. He hadn't understood why she had decided to walk barefoot. Ash had tried to explain, but about all Shepard had understood was that high heels equalled sore feet before he had lost track. Ash tried not to show it often, but when she let go of the marine, she went all out on being a woman.

They approached the Reception desk, still situated at the bottom of the block housing the human, Volus and Elcor embassies. Shepard couldn't help but remember the number of times he had climbed up those stairs to report back to Ambassador Udina a few years back. _Those were the "good old days" _Shepard thought. _Everything was so new and urgent as we tried to puzzle out what the hell Saren was doing. Somehow, things were easier back then though. Despite the petty politics, we were the good guys. Saren, Sovereign and the Geth were the bad guys. Now the Geth are possible allies, I worked for an organisation I seriously disliked and we find out that the Reaper army is so large it beggars belief._

Shepard pulled himself out of his memories as the Asari clerk at the desk looked up and smiled at them. He found it a bit odd that the desk would be staffed around the clock, but he guessed that the Presidium never truly slept, despite the day/night cycle. Shepard smiled back at the Asari and spoke up in a slightly embarrassed tone.

"Hi there. My name is Commander Shepard. I spoke to C-Sec earlier about some lost flowers; they told me that an officer would drop it off here at Reception for safe keeping. Any chance they did so?" Shepard asked.

"Commander Shepard, a pleasure to meet you. I do believe you are in luck. One moment please," the Asari said as she stood up from the desk and moved up the stairs to the Diplomat's Lounge, situated behind the Reception desk. She returned a few moments later with the bunch of roses. The flowers were still in their cryo packaging, fresh and wilt free. Shepard wondered why they had been up in the Lounge before he realised that it had probably been put in the fridge to keep them cool. The cryo packaging was good, but not perfect.

Ashley's eyes widened at the sight of the roses. Whether for the roses themselves or for the sheer number of them, Shepard didn't know, but he was pleased to see her expression. It suddenly occurred to him that receiving flowers was something Ashley probably didn't experience very often, which made the times she did all the more special. The receptionist handed the bunch to Shepard, who promptly handed them straight to Ashley. She smiled beatifically, closed her eyes and inhaled the scent of the roses. Shepard's heart couldn't help but be warmed at the sight. Turning back to the receptionist, he spoke up again.

"These are my contact details. Please send me the name of the C-Sec officer who brought these in. I owe some people some favours for this," he said, voice lowered to near whisper for the last part. The Asari looked to be highly amused, but nodded her head without saying anything. She took Shepard's details without a further word. Flowers now safely in Ashley's hand, Shepard felt that the evening was now a proper success. He greeted the receptionist before moving away, gently guiding a still smiling Ashley to a bench overlooking the lake. Craig knew that he had to phrase his next few words carefully or the whole intent would come out wrong. Wishing himself luck, he began.

"Ashley, this has been a wonderful evening. I can't even begin to describe how much I've enjoyed myself, and I can only hope that you've enjoyed yourself as well," he said.

"So far Skipper, this has been one of the best nights of my life. We've had an excellent supper, we've spoken in depth without being interrupted and I have this monster bouquet of roses in my hand. Above all though, you are here with me. That is the one thing above all else that makes this night so special," Ashley said, an unusual intensity present in her voice.

"Thanks Ashley, I am glad to hear those words. Anyway, I promised you a tour of the Normandy, but I think a change of plans are in order," Shepard said.

"So we are going back to my place instead of yours?" Ashley breathed at him, a sudden smokiness in her voice making Craig's heart thump in several different rhythms all at once. He knew what she had just hinted at, and while he couldn't think of a better way to end off the night, he wasn't entirely sure if it was the right thing to do. While it seemed that tonight had mended most of their relationship, the future was still very much in question.

Blushing tomato red, Shepard started to speak again, but found he was struggling to focus with all the smouldering looks Ashley was giving him. "As tempting as that sounds Ash, that wasn't quite my idea," he chuckled nervously. "My idea was this: it's late and a tour of the ship now will be a bit of an anti-climax. Why don't you sleep over on the Normandy, spend the weekend there? That way you are close to me; don't need to travel back to your apartment wasting valuable time, and I have the leisure to show you around the ship properly," Shepard ended.

"I'm surprised it took you so long to think of the idea O Captain, my Captain," Ashley smirked, mind alight with new possibilities. The desire that had hit her sprung out of the deepest repressed parts of her mind with a force that had surprised her. It had been over two years since their night together before Ilos, seeing Shepard tonight had broken down all the barriers she had erected around those feelings and emotions.

Ashley had realised earlier in the evening that she still loved Craig fiercely, but that she had to be cautious. As the evening had gone on, she had become more and more confident that the damage between them had been repaired. It had occurred to her then that love was something with many facets, some emotional, some physical. She could not explain the feelings she was having, but Ashley knew that she wanted more than just words now. She needed to feel his arms around her, holding her the whole night, their bodies tangled together from passionate love making. Only once that had happened did she feel things would truly be right again. This weekend, she just wanted to be a woman in love. A snippet of Tennyson suddenly floated to mind:

"Now folds the lily all her sweetness up,  
And slips into the bosom of the lake:  
So fold thyself, my dearest, thou, and slip  
Into my bosom and be lost in me."

_Now Sleeps the Crimson Petal_ wasn't her favourite poem by far, but it felt right for some reason. Ashley looked at Shepard, awaiting his response to those words. She noted that he was still blushing, something she found incredibly cute and sweet. Almost since the day they had admitted their mutual attraction, Ashley had been able to make him blush and stumble with just a few well-chosen words. Ashley added smoky looks to that list, to be stored away for the future.

Shepard felt his flush creep down towards his shirt collar. Whenever she recited poetry, Craig felt his knees going weak. Her words a moment ago had reminded him of the best times they had shared together. He knew what she was hinting at, but he still chose to be careful. He cleared his throat and stood up. "Well then, shall we be off? We've got your flowers, dinner is somewhat digested by the walk and your duffel bag is in the skycar," Shepard said, ticking off the list of things on one hand. He shifted her shoes to his left hand and offered her his right hand and arm. Ashley stood up and took it, moulding herself against his side again.

Their skycar was literally a short walk away. They proceeded to get in and leave the Presidium behind. The ride to the Normandy would take a few minutes, as they had to exit the giant ring and then enter the traffic stream into Zakeera Ward. When Shepard had been chasing after Saren, the Normandy had had its own private dock above C-Sec. There was no such luck this time, which meant longer travel times and frequent security checks.

There wasn't much conversation in the car as they travelled. Shepard and Ashley were both tired from the long day, and the thought of sleep was already starting to lull their senses. _It's rather peculiar actually _Ashley thought as the car exited the Presidium and entered general traffic. _I spent most of this morning finishing up my beauty spa treatment; Craig spent his day debriefing the Council. Of the two, his was probably the more useful way to get tired_ Ashley thought distractedly. She felt herself nodding off thanks to the quiet and repetitive hum of the engine. _Craig was right about rather showing me around tomorrow. I'm in no state to take in a tour of the ship right now _she thought before she fell into a light doze.

Ashley was awoken by a gentle touch on her arm. She found herself exiting the skycar and walking into an airlock without much coherent thought. Shepard was next to her, holding her shoes, the flowers and her duffel bag, somehow managing to carry everything. A bio hazard scan later and they were inside the ship. Even through the fog of her tiredness, Ashley found the layout of this deck remarkably familiar. The cooler air on-board the ship felt wonderful, but didn't do much to wake her up. Without a word, Shepard guided her to an elevator at the back of the deck. A quick trip up and they were outside his cabin.

The sight of the bed leaped out at Ashley in a stark, almost surreal way after they had entered the room. The thought of sinking down into that soft pile of blankets held an enormous appeal for Ashley. _Wait, I was at the door a moment ago. How did I get to the bed so quick? _Ashley wondered, her mind even more jumbled. She shook herself, succeeding in waking up slightly. Craig was moving around the bed, pulling back the covers. He placed her shoes and duffel bag next to the bed. The flowers were nowhere in sight, but Ashley assumed he had taken care of them somehow. Curiously, Craig was taking some blankets out of a nearby cupboard. Ashley couldn't figure out why they would need extra blankets, there were more than enough on the bed already.

"Skipper, what are those for? Don't we have enough already on the bed?" Ashley asked, curiosity spiking.

Shepard looked almost embarrassed as he answered. "Well Ashley, these are for me. The bed is yours and I'll be sleeping on the couch over there," he said, pointing at said couch.

Before Ashley could get a word in, Shepard continued. "I'm going to go change in my bathroom quick. Feel free to change here, I'll wait till you are decent before I come back down." Without another word, Shepard moved towards his bathroom.

Ashley wondered why Shepard would be afraid to sleep in the same bed as her all of a sudden. She felt herself getting annoyed, but then she smiled to herself. All she had to do was order him to do it, and he would. Without further ado, Ashley stripped out of her dress and lingerie and laid them neatly over a nearby chair. She opened her duffel bag to retrieve one of her nightgowns when she stopped. _I'm not even going to bother_ she thought. Sleeping naked had never bothered her, and it would give Shepard a nice surprise when he got into the bed. Closing the bag, Ashley slipped into the bed, shivering slightly as the cold sheets touched her bare flesh. The room lights which had been quite dull to begin with dimmed even further. _Must react to whenever someone gets into the bed _she thought. Ashley felt peaceful in the quiet darkness. Sleep came thundering back, but Ashley held out, waiting for Shepard to get done.

After what seemed an eternity, Craig finally exited the bathroom. He laid his tux out on the chair in front of his terminal. In the morning, he would hang it up properly and give it the attention it deserved. Wearing only his boxers, he moved down the stairs towards his couch. He noted with a smile that Ashley appeared to be sleeping already. Working quietly to avoid waking her, he set his blankets out on the couch. The couch was not nearly as inviting as his bed, but he had endured suffering before for the greater good he thought wryly. He was about to lay down when Ashley's voice surprised him.

"Craig, your gentlemanly behaviour is very chivalrous and touching, but don't you think it's time to drop the act now?"

"I, uhm, what act?" Shepard spluttered, unable to think of something intelligent to say.

"I think even a fool would realise that in a case of bed with woman in it will always trump uncomfortable couch. You aren't a fool are you?" Ashley's voice asked with light amusement in it. _She definitely has a point there_ he thought, feeling his resistance begin to crumble. _She's right after all. It's not like we are strangers to each other. Besides, the bed really is softer than this couch_ he reasoned to himself.

"Skipper, do I have to come over there and fetch you? Let me make this clear for you then. Get. Into. This. Bed. Now!" Ashley demanded. Case decided for him, Shepard climbed into the bed next to her. With a contented sigh, Ashley moved to snuggle up to him.

_Oh my, she's naked! _Shepard thought, forcing himself not to act any differently despite a sudden urge to run his hands all over her. Ashley's skin was incredibly warm and soft against his and he could swear that he felt their hearts beat together. Deciding that discretion was the better part of valour however, Shepard kissed Ashley's forehead before closing his eyes and letting himself drift. Friday was done, but they still had two more days of this weekend left. Come what may, Shepard intended to make the most of it. If the future could be described as a storm, then this was the calm before it.


	13. Chapter 13

Awareness returned to Ashley in slow leisurely increments. Feeling completely relaxed and comfortable, Ashley was loathe to wake up. Marine training however insisted that once she was awake, she stayed that way. About to move and get out of bed, memory returned to Ashley in a flood. She stared in amazement at Shepard next to her, still deep in sleep himself. She almost couldn't believe where she was, something she had dreamed about for years had once again come true.

Ashley felt a sudden stab of disappointment that the night before had not quite ended as she would have wanted, but she held back her annoyance. The weekend was still young, anything could still happen. She had to admit, that even if they had tried to get intimate last night, one of them most likely would have fallen asleep during the act. Ashley focussed very hard on stifling a giggle at the thought of them falling asleep in the middle of making love. Giggles under control, Ashley took her time to look over Craig's face. _He looks at ease_ she thought. _Probably has something to do with the fact that I'm here and that he probably wanted this as much as I did. _Ashley briefly thought of waking Shepard up in a _very unusual_ way, but decided against it. Ashley didn't know how long it would be before Craig woke up and sudden hunger pangs in her stomach were telling her that she needed to eat.

Extricating herself gently from the tangle of limbs she was in, Ashley slowly got out of bed. Shepard shifted slightly, but then went back to the deep sleep he had been in. Walking quietly to avoid waking him, Ashley went over to her duffel bag and withdrew a fresh set of lingerie to use after showering. Ashley wasn't entirely sure if they were alone on the ship, so some modesty was required. Shepard had mentioned something about repair crews doing some work on the ship during their conversation last night, though Ash couldn't quite remember what he had said. Snapping out of her musings, Ashley took out her soap, shampoo, facecloth, toothbrush and towel as well.

Armed with what she needed, Ash moved towards the shower, taking her time to look over the cabin as she did so. The Prothean relic on the coffee table caught her eye almost immediately. Ashley couldn't help but smile, though she made no move to approach the thing. _The last time I almost touched one of those relics, Craig knocked me out the way and ended up accepting the Prothean message _she thought. Moving up the few stairs, Ash couldn't help but smile at the fish tank. It was about the only thing she recalled seeing last night as they had stumbled into the room, mostly due to the blue light it had provided. Watching the fish swim, Ash wondered how Shepard found the time to take care of the fish. Shaking her head, Ash moved off before the fish could continue to exert their mysterious lure over her. She'd never hear the end of it if Shepard saw her watching fish swim with a dreamy look on her face.

Walking past his desk to get to the bathroom, a flicker caught Ash's eye. To her amazement, she stared at a photo of herself sitting next to Shepard's medal case. The sudden lump in her throat took her by surprise. It was by no means the best photo of her, but the fact that it was there in the first place meant a lot to Ashley. Staring at it, she realised that Shepard really had been telling the truth with his story. Despite not making contact, he had never given up on her. _I wonder if he stared at that photo as they were on their way through the Omega-4 relay _Ash thought. _He never quite brought it up last night, but to think that a silly little photo could give him the courage to face an almost certain second death is I don't know, I don't think there is words for something like that. _Turning away from the photo, Ashley belatedly noticed the roses sitting in a vase on Shepard's desk. She could not recall how he found the time to place them in a vase last night, but if pressed, Ashley would admit that she was so tired that she had no real clue as to what had been happening when she arrived at the Normandy. Turning towards the bathroom, Ashley noticed a small glass box on a shelf next to the door. Curious about this out of place object, Ash moved to inspect it. To her surprise, the box contained a bowl of water, a food dish and a small house like structure in it. Looking closer, Ashley saw a small furry creature in the house, which appeared to be sleeping at the moment. Ashley had never pegged Shepard as a pet kind of person, but once again he had surprised her. The thought of Craig playing with a hamster made her smile.

The shower was almost a disappointment to Ashley. After the pampering at Claudine's for the dinner date, the shower felt mundane to her. She longed for the pampering and treatment afforded to her over the past two days. Sooner or later, Ash knew that she would be back at that spa. For all her longing however, Ash felt fresh and clean after the shower, ready to face the day ahead. Drying of herself complete, Ash donned her lingerie. It was fairly modest compared to some things she had seen, but it was sexy and comfortable enough for her tastes. Moving back to the bed, Ashley saw that Craig had woken up, but was not fully alert yet if the yawns were any indication to go by. His face however quickly lit up when he saw her with a genuine warmth and love. A naughty part of Ash's mind was hoping he'd drop a remark about her not being naked, but she suppressed it for now.

"Morning Skipper. Sleep well?" she asked, her tone full of mischief.

"Oh, not too bad dear," he stated with deadpan understatement. Try as he might, the smile that had been threating to break out did so. "Oh, come over here you minx!"

Ashley jumped onto the bed, causing them both to laugh. The laughter died out however as both realised how close their faces were to each other. Ash lifted a slightly unsteady hand to stroke Craig's face, admiring the planes of his face. His green eyes never left her brown ones as he returned the gesture. Without words, they drew closer to each other until their lips were barely apart.

"Ash…," Shepard's voice called out, barely more than a whisper.

"No more words Skipper," Ash breathed back before she kissed him. Chaste at first, the kiss slowly warmed up into something deeper and more passionate. It was an exquisitely delicate dance of lips, teeth and tongue that all somehow combined into something much more. Ash felt herself heat up all over her body, the need and longing pouring forth. Hunger was suddenly forgotten, to be replaced by a hunger of a different sort. Ash reached forward to stroke Craig's chest, aching to feel those taut muscles under her fingers again when a disembodied voice suddenly called out of seemingly nowhere.

"Commander Shepard, the repair crew foreman just informed me that the crew is running late and will be here only this afternoon. He offers his profuse apologies," the voice said.

Groaning, Ashley felt the mood vanish. They separated from each other, both giving each other little side glances. Shepard cleared his throat and spoke to what seemed empty space.

"Thank you EDI, it's not that serious of a delay I guess. I'm sure the foreman will make up the lost time. Oh, and before I forget, I have a guest with me. Operations Chief Williams is to be granted full access to any part of the ship. She already has the highest security clearances from the Alliance. That will be all."

"Very well Shepard. Have a nice day. I hope that Jeff will not injure himself on shore leave this weekend. EDI out."

Ashley looked at Shepard in surprise. "Isn't that just a little bit advanced for a VI Craig? And it has concerns for Joker?"

Shepard took a deep breath and looked her in the eyes. "It isn't a VI Ash. EDI is an AI. We all refer to it as EDI, though the name stands for Enhanced Defence Intelligence. Also, we think of EDI as a full member of crew. Heaven knows she's saved our lives more times than I care to remember."

Ash was stunned at the news. Artificial Intelligences by and large were mostly banned throughout Council space, with only a select few companies allowed to continue research into the technology. The Quarians had once been masters of AI, reaching a pinnacle in the creation of the Geth. Their mistakes and fears of the Geth AI evolving beyond their control had led to the war and exodus from their home planet. The Council restrictions on AI had been instituted following that time. Ash struggled to put her fears into words, that this EDI could turn on Shepard and potentially kill him. Her struggle must have been visible on her face, because Shepard smiled sadly at her.

"I'm sorry I didn't have a chance to tell you beforehand Ash. I guess I've become so used to EDI that I don't think about it anymore. I know you must be worried, but I assure you that EDI is one of us. I trust her with my life, and she has repaid that trust many times over."

Still struggling, Ash eventually decided on a compromise. "I trust you Skipper, and I will trust in your words. After all, I have not been the one to spend the last few months with her, so I am in no place to judge. I guess it's just old worries floating around."

Shepard didn't reply but simply leaned forward to kiss her on the forehead. Ashley smiled at the contact. She got off the bed and moved towards her duffel bag, returning the various toiletries. She pulled out one of the sweaters and shorts in the bag. She pulled the sweater over her head and shorts up her legs, absently thinking about the day ahead. Craig hadn't said anything, but she suspected that they would end up doing something to pass the time. Neither of them were the kind to spend their free time lazing about if they could help it. Ashley looked briefly at the sandals in her bag, but then decided to forgo them for now.

Turning back to Shepard, Ash saw him fight off another yawn. "Skipper, I'm going to go get something to eat. You still look pretty sleepy, but feel free to join me if you want. Perhaps you could give me that promised tour of the ship afterwards as well," Ashley said, leaving the invitation hanging.

"Tell you what Ash. I'm going to try and get another quick nap in, after which I'll shower and join you down in the mess hall. Speaking of which, the mess hall is on the third deck of the ship, you can't get lost. You may run into my XO down there while you are it. I don't think Miranda has left the ship, so if you see her, please be nice."

Ashley smiled at Shepard but said nothing. She would be polite if she saw the woman, but the last thing she wanted to do was strike up a conversation with the woman. Ashley didn't know the woman from a bar of soap, and as far as she was concerned, this Miranda was a potential challenger for her man. Though Shepard would never see or understand it, female rivalries were often more vicious than that of men, though far more subtle. Female politics wasn't something Ashley got involved with very often; it simply wasn't her cup of tea. If need be however, she would give it her all.

Ashley moved back to the bed to give Craig a quick kiss on the lips before moving off. With her desire ruined by EDI's unexpected appearance, her hunger had returned in full force. Waving her hand over the control panel on Shepard's door, Ash stepped across the small hallway to the door of the elevator. Another wave of her hand opened the elevator door. Selecting Deck 3 on the control panel, Ash settled back against the rail for the short trip down. The old Normandy had a similar, if more cramped layout. Cerberus had built the new Normandy to a more civilian style, offering far more comforts and luxuries than an Alliance ship would ever have.

The elevator stopped after a few moments, doors opening automatically. Stepping onto the deck, the extra size of the place impressed itself on Ashley. From her position, she could see Life Support, Crew Quarters, Starboard and Port Observation decks as well as male and female bathrooms. Ash heard the noise of a shower coming from the female bathroom. Surmising that the occupant must be Miranda, Ashley moved around the elevator well into the mess hall. The layout was so similar to the SR-1 that Ashley felt a lump forming in her throat. There was Dr. Chakwas' sickbay; there were the mess hall tables. The office to the left side of the mess hall was where Shepard's cabin had been. For a moment, a vision of the SR-1 superimposed itself over her vision. Kaidan was standing at his station, located where the kitchen stood now. _Kaidan. How long was it since I last thought about him? _Ash wondered to herself. _I wish he was still around. Shy as he was, he was close to Shepard. I don't think Craig has ever fully forgiven himself for Virmire. Then again, have I? Stopping Saren brought us some measure of revenge and closure, but it's just not the same._

Shaking herself loose from the vision, Ash's eyes brightened as she noticed the two most important items any marine could ever ask for: a coffee maker and a toaster. Moving over to the kitchen, Ashley silently blessed the person who had so thoughtfully left a fresh loaf of bread next to the toaster. Popping four slices of bread into the machine, she then proceeded to find some butter and cheese in the nearby fridge. Turning her attention to the coffee maker, Ash opened cupboards around the device. Her eyes brightened as she discovered four variants of coffee in the cupboard above the pot. Ranging from normal strength to military strength, there was at least a variety for the different crew members. Choosing the military strength blend, Ash set to work filling up the machine with fresh water and the coffee grounds. Moments later she was rewarded with the heady aroma of extremely strong coffee wafting up from the machine.

Her attention on the coffee and toast, Ash didn't notice someone new entering the mess hall at first, until the new person spoke up. "Is that military grade coffee I smell?"

Silently cursing herself for not paying better attention, Ash spared a look from the toaster. Her toast was due to pop up any moment now and the last thing she wanted was burnt and black toast. Toasters were supposed to avoid doing that, but Ash's experience was such that if you didn't watch over the machine, it spitefully always burnt your toast. Looking at the source of the voice, Ash couldn't help but feel a small pang of jealousy. She recognised the owner of the voice as one of the two team mates who had been with Shepard on Horizon. Ashley hadn't been paying full attention back then, but she remembered feeling anger at the words that had come from this woman's lips as she defended Cerberus. A very tiny part of her wondered how the hell Shepard had not fallen for this woman. She had a wonderfully shaped full figure, larger breasts than Ashley, loose black hair that fell in waves to her shoulders, deep blue eyes and a face that was beautiful no matter what mood she may be in. Even her voice was lush and rich, coloured by a slight accent. Added to the fact that she was still damp from her shower, the overall effect was one of beauty and lust inexplicably tangled together. Taking her jealousy and mentally stuffing it in a big bag for the time being, Ash forced herself to smile slightly and be polite to this woman.

"You must be Miranda, and to answer your question, this is indeed military strength coffee. Would you like some?"

"Please, if you don't mind. I could use the wakeup call about now. No additions, just plain and strong if you please."

The toaster behind Ash pinged and ejected its load of toast at about the same time the coffee maker finished burping. Turning around, Ash was happy to note that the toast was not burnt but was the proper golden brown. In seconds the toast was covered in butter and cheese, ready to be eaten. After pouring the coffee into two cups, Ashley found a tray in another cupboard to carry the load back to the mess table where Miranda was already seated. As she approached the table, Ash couldn't help but notice Miranda's shapely legs or the fact that like Ash, she was barefoot. _What is it with me? _she thought silently. _I keep looking at her and feeling jealous over her beauty, yet the way I look at her is the same way men check out women. How in the hell did Shepard not fall for her, even for a night of comfort? _Stuffing the jealousy back into the bag, Ash served Miranda her coffee. Miranda rewarded her with a dazzling smile, and despite herself, Ash felt herself smiling back.

Sitting down, Ash made quick work of her toast. She was expecting Miranda to start up a conversation, but to her surprise the raven-haired woman merely sipped her coffee and kept quiet. Her curiosity flaring to life, Ash decided to take the first step. She realised she hadn't formally introduced herself yet, so she decided to start there.

"Forgive me, here I am munching away and I haven't even introduced myself. I am Operations Chief Ashley Williams. Craig spoke quite a bit about you last night, though he didn't actually say all that much. He did say that you saved his life a number of times however, and for that I thank you." Ashley held out her hand for Miranda to shake and was surprised at the strength of the grip she got in return.

"Miranda Lawson. Formerly an Operative of Cerberus, now officially unemployed. It's really nice to finally meet you Chief, Shepard has spoken incredibly highly of you. I should thank you for accepting his apology, he's been unusually nervous since he sent it. The man takes out a larval Reaper without breaking a sweat, but when it comes to you he gets totally lost. It's actually kind of cute," Miranda said, smiling at the last part.

To her surprise, Ash found herself starting to like Miranda. It had been long time since she had a real conversation with another female outside of her sisters. Miranda had been with Shepard since she rebuilt him, and Ash found herself hungering to hear about the subsequent journey from her point of view. Although he had told her much of what she wanted to know last night, Ash found herself wanting to know things from a female perspective. Settling herself in for a long chat, Ash spoke up.

"If you have the time and don't mind Miranda, I'd like to ask you a few questions. It's been a while since I've really chatted to another girl, it's something I miss. It's up to you of course," Ashley said, leaving the offer out there.

"Sure thing Chief, I don't mind at all. I cleared all my work last night and now have nothing better to do with myself. What would you like to know?"

Ashley arranged some of her questions in her mind before speaking. There were many questions she had, some more important than others. Ash began, looking forward to hearing Miranda's view of things.


	14. Chapter 14

_Author's note: my apologies to everyone who has been following this story for the delay I've had in putting out this chapter. Real life is insanely busy right now, and on top of things I picked up a cold. Without further ado, let me permit the story to do the talking. I do hope you enjoy it._

* * *

Ashley got her questions roughly lined up, things she wanted to know from Miranda, but one question popped out immediately, something that had been on Ash's mind for some time now.

"What was it like, working with him these last couple of months?"

Miranda looked surprised by the question; it obviously wasn't something she was expecting right up front. She took a sip of her coffee as she framed her reply, searching for a way to realistically explain events that were sometimes completely unreal in nature.

"Honestly, I'm not sure there are words for the entire experience. Truth be told, I'm still a little shocked by the fact that I'm sitting here, alive and talking to you. Despite everything I had heard about Shepard, everything we went through before the Collector base, I didn't expect to make it out alive. It was a suicide mission and we all knew it. All of us said our goodbyes, closed outstanding personal issues and so forth knowing that we didn't really have a chance of making it. Shepard was the only one who truly believed we would make it in and out safely, and for the life of me I couldn't understand why. Now I know why," Miranda said, looking directly into Ash's eyes. Ash felt herself flush, but she didn't say anything. Miranda's posture indicated that she was clearly far from done.

"I think I know how people on Elysium must have felt after Shepard helped save them during the Blitz. He just never gives up hope or belief. Logically, my mind tells me that he shouldn't be able to do the things he does, yet somehow he does. Let me see if I can better explain things by starting at the beginning." Miranda finished her coffee and settled back in her chair, preparing herself to tell a long story.

"I'm a very different person now compared to the person who worked on Shepard almost three years ago. When Shepard's body came in, my only concern was to revive him at any cost. The Illusive Man said that he wanted Shepard to be exactly the same as he was prior to his death, which meant I had to study his past thoroughly. The more I read, the less I understood why he was so highly regarded, victory over Sovereign and Saren notwithstanding. Records only state the facts and don't explain how due to his friendliness and caring nature, he made friends all over the galaxy with multiple species. They can't explain the bonds forged during service together. Not knowing these facts, I simply thought that Shepard was an inflated poster boy for humanity. I thought that if we were successful in reviving him, he would be grateful to Cerberus for the chance to really do something and not parade around for the Council. How wrong I was," Miranda said, shaking her head at the memories.

"It seems that since the moment he woke up, we've been on the go. The Illusive Man placed Shepard in charge of the operation, perhaps one of the best ideas he ever had. While I've had extensive training as an officer, Shepard is a natural military man. It was thought that the crew would react better under his command, with me in the slightly more low key XO position. What I don't think any of us expected was how well the positioning would turn out to work," Miranda said with a chuckle. She stood up to refill her now empty coffee cup. The pot was simmering gently, ensuring that the brew would be just right whenever a refill was needed. Enjoying the fragrant aroma of the new cup, Miranda sat back down again. To her surprise, Ash's cup wasn't empty yet. _Must be a slow drinker _she thought, settling back down again.

"Shepard handled every situation with dignity and intelligence. If the mission needed diplomacy, he was the best diplomat you could ask for. If the mission called for stealth or heavy firepower, he provided that was well. Despite all the rushing around, he took the time to get to know each one of us better, something I think the team truly appreciated. A quick casual chat here, a longer more in depth one there and before you knew it, he was friends with everyone on board. At first I thought it was just a show to boost morale, but I later learnt how genuine he is with people he considers friends. When it came to me, I thought I could keep my secrets. Shepard kept prodding gently however, and before I knew it, I was telling him things. Funny thing is, Shepard's yeoman is a trained psychologist, yet most of his team opened up to him first before her," Miranda mused, wondering how Kelly must have felt about that. It seemed sometimes that Kelly took care of the ship staff, while Shepard took care of his away team.

"In short, working with Shepard has changed all of our lives, often dramatically for the better. People have said that I went from an Ice Queen they avoided to a normal person they wanted to be around. I don't think I can give Craig any higher credit than that."

Ashley had been listening intently to Miranda's voice, soaking up the story. It occurred to her that the story sounded familiar for some reason, only for the connection to appear a moment later. In many ways, Miranda's experience was a lot like her own. She had gone from a lowly marine serving in the 212 on Eden Prime to helping save the galaxy. Along the way, she had made friends, broadened her horizons and learnt to respect aliens. Above all else, she had found love in the most unlikely of places and for the first time since her father had passed away, she had felt good enough about herself to stop pushing herself so hard for a short while. Ashley couldn't help but marvel at how Craig seemed to be able to motivate and bring out the best in people. Sometimes it came back to bite him on the ass, but more often than not his actions had resulted in saved lives. She recalled one incident where he had talked down a Corporal Toombs on one of their side missions. Ashley had been ready to put down Toombs if he so much as moved a finger, yet Shepard had somehow managed to convince Toombs to lower his weapon and turn himself in. She still didn't understand how he had done it, but it had been one of the most impressive and compassionate things she had ever seen.

The next question on Ashley's mind made her feel awkward. During Miranda's story, Ashley had been trying to determine if Miranda had developed any sorts of feelings towards Craig, based on everything he had done for her. The idea made her uncomfortable as she was starting to like Miranda, but Ashley knew that she would never be fully comfortable until she asked the question.

"Miranda, I'd like to ask you something personal if you don't mind. It isn't easy for me to ask this, but I have to know. You don't have to answer however," Ashley said.

Miranda nodded her head to indicate that she was willing to answer. Although she couldn't say for sure, a large part of her was willing to bet on what the next question would be.

"How is it that you and Shepard aren't together? You've been to hell together; he's helped you out with your sister and been there for you. He's one of the most handsome men in all the galaxy and you are quite stunning yourself. One would think that after all that, something would have developed?" Ashley said in a rush, trying to get the words out as fast as possible.

Miranda smiled rather ruefully at the rush of words from Ashley. Her guess a moment ago had been correct. She wondered why Ashley would ask such a thing however; as it was clear as day to her that Shepard only had eyes for one person. Ashley didn't seem like an insecure person. _Then again, I've only just met her, so I shouldn't be trying to define her so quickly. Anyone can put on a tough outer shell to hide what's really going on inside. Hell, I should know _Miranda thought. Miranda thought about offering a generic response, but decided to rather tell Ashley the truth.

"Chief, I'm not going to lie to you. The thought of being with Shepard has crossed my mind, I won't deny that. As you say, he is handsome like no other and is indeed one of the most desired men in the galaxy. That being said, I realised two things a long time ago. One is that I'm not the kind of woman for him, and number two is that as far as Shepard goes, there is only one woman for him in his eyes. I happen to be speaking to said woman right now."

Ashley was embarrassed by the reply, but that small annoying voice in the back of her head was finally satisfied at the news of Shepard's fidelity. Before she could ask her next question, Miranda spoke up again.

"Speaking of this actually reminds me of something interesting. In all the time I've known Shepard, I've only ever seen him down and depressed once. Despite the weight of all life in the galaxy on his shoulders, he was only ever lost for one day. When we came back from Horizon, he seemed lost. The drive which had started him off was nowhere to be found. He spent the entire next day alone in his cabin, locked away from the rest of us. The day after that, he was at breakfast with the rest of us when he snapped out of it. One moment he was staring into space, the next moment he shook himself, started eating and just generally looked like a man who had woken up from a long sleep. I've never seen anything like it to be honest," Miranda said. She didn't add how disheartening it had been for the entire crew to see Shepard so down and out for that day. It was then that Miranda first realised just how much the crew depended on Shepard's drive and optimism. That realisation had driven home that despite everything, Shepard was still human and could still be hurt.

"I later asked him about the whole incident. He didn't go into detail, but he told me that while things between you two had become very confused, he wouldn't allow himself to give up hope. I don't think he ever stopped believing that things would work out. What did happen I think is that he put it at the back of his mind to sort out later. Later turned out to be your date last night I think, a whole lot longer than I think he expected. After hearing him say that, I realised that I would never stand a real chance with him."

Ashley downed the last of her coffee, the now cold liquid tasting as bitter as the emotion she felt inside. Once again, she was reminded how close Horizon had come to tearing apart their love. _More specifically, how close I came to throwing it away_ she thought. _I'm ashamed that it took a third person to see what I had and nearly threw away thanks to my temper. I will not ever make that mistake again _Ash thought with a sense of renewed determination. Her relationship with Craig was never going to be the easiest of things going forward, but she would be damned if she walked away from it again.

Ashley stood up from the table to refresh her cup. She briefly thought about going back to Craig's cabin to see if he was up and about yet but she decided not to. There were more questions she wanted to ask, and it was still early in the day. Coffee cup refilled, Ash made her way back to the table. She took a moment to study Miranda as she moved to the table. The brunette's admission had been brutally honest and sincere, something Ashley appreciated. She suspected that Miranda would follow Shepard till the end of events now, and providing they survived, beyond that as well. If Ashley ever ended up back on duty on the Normandy, she would have to trust Miranda as a friend but also as a senior officer. Miranda's admission had gone a long way to building up that trust.

Ashley sat back down, next question on her lips. Before she could speak however, the sound of the elevator descending caught their attention. The doors opened a moment later. Ashley looked at Miranda, who shook her shoulders. A moment later, Shepard's body popped into view. He was dressed in simple grey Alliance boots, shorts and t-shirt. Like last night, he was clean shaved and his hair was done in the usual spiky pattern. The clothes did nothing to hide the ridges and contours of his muscles and chiselled frame. Ash openly feasted her eyes on the sight of him. She noticed a small movement out the corner of her eye and saw Miranda's face buried in her coffee cup, staring intently at something. Puzzled at the brunette's reaction, she went back to watching Shepard. He smiled at her, but walked right past their table. Ashley squawked at him, but he paid no notice as he made a beeline for the coffee machine.

Cup of coffee finally in hand, he made his way over to their table. Craig stopped for a moment as he passed Ashley. Mindful of Miranda sitting there, he leant down and gave her a soft quick peck on the lips. Settling down next to her without a word, he began to drink his coffee. Miranda looked at him. He looked at Miranda. He raised his eyebrow at her, at which she burst out laughing.

"Morning Shepard," Miranda said, still chuckling. There was no real reason for her mirth, apart from his silliness this morning.

"Miranda," he drawled, doing in Ashley's view the best deadpan impression of Wrex's greeting she had ever seen.

"So, what were you lovely ladies talking about that you suddenly had to cut off when I walked into the area?" he asked Ashley, clearly curious.

"Are you sure you want to know? I mean really sure Skipper?" Ashley asked, suddenly feeling very mischievous.

Shepard suddenly looked less sure of himself, hearing that playful tone in her voice, but he decided to bit anyway. "I'm not so sure anymore Ash, but go ahead."

Ashley waited until he had taken a sip of his coffee. The timing had to be absolutely right or this gag wouldn't work. "I was telling Miranda that I'm jealous over the fact that I don't have biotics like she does. You see, she was telling me that if I had biotics, I could hold you in place in the bed while I ravished you senseless. It's so old fashioned to use I've been told," Ashley sighed rather theatrically. Her timing was spot on as Shepard doubled over, choking on his coffee. By the time he straightened up, his eyes were red rimmed from trying to get air. He glared daggers at her while Miranda was looking anywhere but at him. By her face, he knew that if Miranda looked at him, she would burst out laughing. Trying to maintain his dignity, he switched back to staring daggers at Ash. Ash simply smiled sweetly at him.

Realising he wasn't going to win, Craig went back to his coffee. Luckily for him, he hadn't spilled the cup after Ash's joke. Taking his time, he had another sip of the brew. Eventually turning back to Ash, he capitulated. "Fine, you win. One point to you."

Ashley simply beamed like a smug angel at him. Her victory was complete when Miranda finally cracked and started laughing at their expressions. It was a start.


End file.
